Thursday, May 13, 2010

Something - Something

Here is a little more of the tragedy playing out in Genna's world. And a surprise!

Please remember this is a first draft and will only be posted for two days. And yes, there are some cliches, and lots of -ly and -ing words. Don't hate me for them.

Rating -- PG 13.

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Sorry, this post has been removed by the author.

21 comments:

Jen said...

This was so sad and wonderful. What an experience to have to go through. I love the name Genna and I loved the emotion that was portrayed between all the characters, Fortuna's husband was amazing the way he handled it all and I'm sure it's a lot to take in.

I've never personally had to deal with my grandparents having such an illness but heart attacks and parkinsons took their lives and that was a very difficult time. Great story I look forward to many more snippets!

Piedmont Writer said...

Jen -- Thank you so much for your very kind words. Uncle Sally is the best! He's got a lot on his plate right now, but is bearing up the best he can.

Matthew Rush said...

I love you're characters. They're so - human.

Terry Towery said...

Very nice, Anne. I love the clarity of your writing and the depth of your characters. I always look forward to your excerpts. Thanks! :)

Falen said...

i always have tons of adverbs and adjectives when i first draft. I can't help it, it's the way i naturally write

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

Every excerpt brings me closer to these wonderful characters. Uncle Sally is awesome. Oh, and I'm hoping those were little sparks flying around Genna and Pete. I'm immediately rooting for them instead of Tony -- can't explain why. I guess in my own life, baggage in a relationship is always more of a pain than it's worth.

Write on, sista!

Talli Roland said...

Anne, your characters always seem to spring right off the page! I love the dialogue, too. Great stuff!

Piedmont Writer said...

Matthew -- Thanks, that's the nicest thing anyone's said about my characters!

Terry -- Thanks, very very much!

Sarah -- The bane of my existance -- -ly words!

Nicole -- Give me a few more chapters and you might change your mind about Tony but I hear what you're saying. I'm not too thrilled with Tony at this point either.

Talli -- Thanks so much. I'm glad they're not just plastic.

Lady Glamis said...

I like the Italian words you put in there. They work nicely!

Shelley Sly said...

I love it! First of all, your dialogue is incredible, as always. I always feel like I'm eavesdropping on them when I read your writing. And second, I have to admit that I really liked the exchange between Genna and Pete. I still like Tony, but Pete doesn't seem so bad either. I like the unfolding drama with Fortuna's memory too. This is fantastic! :)

DL Hammons said...

Very nice! Fluid, easy to read, I didn't stumble over a single sentence. Your dialogue is very real and characters engaging. Kudos!! :)

sarahjayne smythe said...

I love Sal here. I feel the weight on his shoulders. And I'll have to go with Nicole and Shelley on this. I like the idea of Peta and Genna together. That little spark could be fanned very nicely. :)

Susan Fields said...

You've done a wonderful job with the relationship between Sal and Fortuna. You can really tell how much they love each other. Well done!

Lola Sharp said...

Loved it. As always.
Easy flow. You are excellent at dialogue and relationships.

I'm Team Tony!

Piedmont Writer said...

Michelle -- Garnering years of experience with my own family, I thought they were 'real'.

Shelley -- Thanks. Hopefully we get to the 'love triangle' at Billy's Beach Bar soon. We'll see what happens.

Don -- Thanks. It's nice to know I didn't mess up with the 'new guy'. I wasn't sure how I should play Pete, totally in her face or shy. I think I caught a nice balance.

Sarah Jayne -- I think Pete wants the spark but Genna might still be on the fence. I have to write another between her and Tony to find out what happens.

Susan -- I love Sal and Fortuna myself, and I think being married for almost 40 years it has to come across on the page. There's so much more behind the scenes that you guys haven't read. I'm glad you can see it in what little I do post.

Lola -- My love, thank you so much. And I don't know about Tony yet. Genna's got a lot on her plate right now.

Tara said...

Poor Sally :( My grandfather was in denial even after my grandmother almost burned the house down - for the 3rd time. It's very sad stuff.

Pete isn't sounding like a bad back-up plan. A girl's gotta keep her options open.

Piedmont Writer said...

Tara -- I used to work with Alzheimer's patients and it's so sad. And scary. And we'll see what happens with Pete. I'm still not sure yet. Genna hasn't really told me what she wants to do.

Elliot Grace said...

Anne, your dialogue has wonderful flow. I've read many published works with conversations that come off the page as "stiff." Dialogue should feel natural to the reader, allowing them no choice but to believe every word. You pulled it off.

She Writes said...

I like how you ended this. Nice.

Piedmont Writer said...

Elliot -- Thank you kind sir. I love writing dialogue. IT's the rest of the book I have trouble with.

Amy -- I thought you were taking a blog break. Thanks for stopping by. I mean it's still a first draft and all, so who really knows where it will end.

Crystal Cook said...

Ok, so I know that you already took this down, but I read it and then forgot to leave a comment! DUH!!! total blonde moment.

I absolutely loved this, I literally had tears in my eyes when Sal took Fortuna in his arms. It was so beautiful and moving, I just loved it. You are so talented :)