Just thought I'd check in and let you know what's REALLY going on. And to tell you the absolute truth. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I took this time off the blog to get some writing done and I haven't done anything. Written not one word. I don't know what it is -- the weather, MB graduating, my mother leaving, the fence building, the queries, the partials -- I don't know.
But I know I'm not alone. There are several others out in the blogoshpere that are having this same problem -- can't write anything but word vomit, no energy or enthusiasm for any of their projects, and with the kids out of school for summer, well, it's just panic now, I mean what are we going to do with THEM?
I've tried timed writing. I've tried switching back and forth between stories (if you look at my sidebar you can see all the projects I'm attached to). I've tried putting some work into an old/new story to see where I come up. Nothing, nada, zilch. I can't write. And don't get me wrong, it's not writer's block. I know where all these are supposed to go, I have the next chapters all outlined, not to mention the copious notes on all the regencies, not to mention all the outliney stuff I did for Genna & Tony.
It just won't come.
And if it does, it's crap. I mean crappy crap that you hold against your normal brilliant writing self and say, "Was I kidnapped by aliens? What is this garbage?"
(And I'm not saying I'm brilliant but I am pretty good, but it's all crappy crap these days.) And I don't mind a little crap, but everything?
Truthfully, I think it has to do with the queries. There's something about querying that makes me nuts. Like I have to put my whole life on hold to wait for the agents to tell me if I'm any good or not. Thank God I've done this like three or four times already. At least I know what I'm getting into. It's like riding a bike without training wheels, the first few times, you fall down. You get hurt, get right back up again. I'm just afraid I'm going to have to put the training wheels back on.
One of the partials came back with a rejection. It probably wouldn't have hurt quite so much if the agent hadn't had it since Feb! She waited 90 days to tell me -- IN A FORM REJECTION -- so that hurt was just unbearable. I've cried, thanks, and eaten a whole big bag of M&M's, and decided when I query G&T, guess what, it's not going to that agency. Yes I might cut off my nose to spite my face but I'm not waiting 90 days for another rejection ever again. I even had to send her a nudge note, so what does that say to me? They can't get their work done in a timely manner. I know they're busy people but how long does it take to read 50 pages? Exactly 28 minutes. So you mean to tell me in the last 90 days you couldn't find 28 minutes to read my stuff?
Now I've also still got a few queries out from Feb. and those agents pre-requested pages with the query. I KNOW those are rejections. I don't have to get my hopes up.
So at least this rejection has told me something. The query is working. My biggest peeve is all the rejections have been FORM rejections. How am I supposed to know what's not working with the partial if nobody tells me? I've followed the damn romance "formula", everything is there. The last agent who rejected me told me the writing was fine, it was just the plot wasn't all that it should be. And that was ALL he said. Well, my question is -- How would you know? You didn't read the book, only the synopsis and we all know those things are just dry statements of fact, there's no nuance or subtly or great writing. You didn't even to bother to find out what happens to Penny at the masquerade ball and how the villain tricks her into getting into his carriage. (Hey, that was some great writing there boy howdy!)
I know, I know, this is what we all go through as writers. It just sucks and makes me want to give up. I know, I know, I won't give up, this dream is too important to me, and I am a Taurus, a Tiger and Irish so... it's just hard. Writing is hard work, rejection is a kick in the teeth, and querying just sucks.
So here is my question for the day -- Would anyone care to read THE LADY'S MASQUERADE? It's a Regency romance/cozy mystery with a little (very little) sex. I have it out to one other person and I'm waiting for her to give me her opinion. She's a mystery writer who reads Regency for fun so I've got the best of both worlds in her. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I wouldn't send it to anyone who wants it to read, however, I'd like to send it to people who read Regency romance and know the intricate subtleties of the genre. I'm not looking for a critique, I'm looking for an opinion. Those of you who read the genre know what I'm looking for. E-mail me at piedmontwriter at gmail dot com.
Also I just wanted to say, thank you so much for your comments yesterday on my Monster Baby. It was a nice graduation, she had her best friend over for a play date afterward (another one today with ALL her friends but I also get to play with the Mommies) and then we just lolled around in the afternoon. It was nice because I wasn't attached to the computer. I even cut the grass.