My friend Jack has reared his ugly head once again gentle readers...as in, I don't know Jack. Some of you may be unfamiliar with this phrase, it means... I don't know ANYTHING.
Questions from the past posts on being smaht and what makes us, me in particular, smaht, don't seem to cut the mustard anymore. (I'm full of cliches today, sorry.) I've been blogging around and have read some absolutely phenomenol stories, clips, snippets of work by other people and I am just so wholly down-hearted. It's not that I don't like my work, my stories anymore, it's just that they're just not smaht enough. Perhaps it's my genre -- historical romance -- some consider that FLUFF. Perhaps it's the way I can't tell one POV from another. I don't know. Maybe it's because I was so hyped up on the partial request that now I'm in the bewilderment stage, wondering if and when they're going to get around to reading it. Maybe I'm heading for PMS again. Who knows. (This whole menopause thing is killing me. Sorry all you men out there.) I mean, for God's sake, I spelled segue wrong yesterday, although I do blame it on the fact it was 6am when I wrote that and only had one cup of caffeine in me and so didn't bother to look it up, but...c'mon, that's just dumb. I know how to spell it. What is wrong with me?
I'm just feeling stupid these days. I'm feeling like I should go back to the restaurant and hang up my pen. I'm feeling like being a quitter. However my stubborn Taurean self won't let me until I have completely wrung this bad boy out for everything it's worth. Do you feel like this? Is it just me? I know it's not, I've read enough blogs that we writers go through this crazy "I'm not good enough" phase. When does it end?
It also could be that I got into a blog where the woman said it took her seven years to be published. SEVEN FREAKING YEARS. I can't wait that long. I just can't. I have patience, I'm a Taurus, but my patience wears thin after awhile. I know I'm supposed to be writing my second book and I am (blissfully this morning Small One was back at school and I wrote almost 2000 words) but I'm having trouble with it because I have to do research...and I hate research in the middle of writing, it slows me down. I want to write it and be done with it. But I can't.
I apologize for being such a bummer today but I can't be all shiny happy all the time. It's not in me. I was born a pessimist. And Jack has come knocking once again.
My question to you gentle readers is...what the heck do you do when you feel like this? And does chocolate really help?