Here is the excerpt I didn't post last week. The set-up: Uncle Sally has just taken Genna to his 'surprise', a restaurant that would be perfect for her.
I love the dialogue in this scene. It's fluid and moves along at a great pace, with actions and thoughts sprinkled strategically about. I love, love Uncle Sal! And I can't help loving Christina Rocco, too. Her story is going to be fascinating to learn.
hey! You're back! I also have the problem of always finding things that need to be changed. Luckily though i get bored after awhile and then i know it's time to stop
Man I love reading these! I'm glad to see the continuation of that scene you shared a week or two ago but I still feel like I'm missing something.
I agree with the others too. The dialogue is very snappy here. It made me uncomfortable at certain moments, which is great, because that is exactly how I would have felt as one of the characters so it works, at least for me it does.
I suppose you don't keep the old posts up forever when they're excerpts and that makes sense. I'll just have to follow as best I can from now on.
LOVE this, as always! My favorite line = "She’s buying you, just like she always did." I know people and situations that are just like that. You are truly a pro at writing what is real. Thanks for sharing!
I think we've seen the beginning before. It looks a little re-written. I think. The changes are subtle. Did you revise some of this?
I love the voice in this; and the character developement. I feel Nana is already a part of the nove, even if we haven't met her before (I'm late to these readings). My heart is breaking with Sal.
Matthew -- I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable but if I did, I guess that's a good thing.
MT -- Well I try to have at least a modicum of respect. It's a good thing you weren't here for the first 2.
Wendy -- Awww, thanks so much. That's sweet.
Shelley -- Isn't that great? How many times have you heard it? Is it cliche though?
Donna -- Yeah I did rework the front, how smart are you!!!! Nana is part of the novel and you might not have met her yet, she's only made one splashy appearance.
How did I miss this? Oh, right. Parent-teacher conferences. Anyway, I loved this. Real life family tensions on the page and I can't wait to see how far it goes. :)
18 comments:
Very nice!
I love the dialogue in this scene. It's fluid and moves along at a great pace, with actions and thoughts sprinkled strategically about. I love, love Uncle Sal! And I can't help loving Christina Rocco, too. Her story is going to be fascinating to learn.
Awesome excerpt, Anne!
Great excerpt. I'm really intrigued about Nana Rocco--looking forward to seeing a blowout (I hope!) between her and Uncle Sal soon!
Superb, as usual. You are a *very* good writer. I love your clean style and the crisp dialogue. Excellent excerpt!
Thank you very much everyone. Every time I read it I find something else I want to change, or need to change, so I have copious notes in pen and ink.
Somehow I've managed to write two more scenes and I have a total word count for Act Two at almost 5K. I'm gaining.
Thank you Bish, Nicole, Summer - I hadn't thought of that angle...do I dare go there? Thank you Terry.
hey! You're back!
I also have the problem of always finding things that need to be changed. Luckily though i get bored after awhile and then i know it's time to stop
Awww, Uncle Sal!
Man I love reading these! I'm glad to see the continuation of that scene you shared a week or two ago but I still feel like I'm missing something.
I agree with the others too. The dialogue is very snappy here. It made me uncomfortable at certain moments, which is great, because that is exactly how I would have felt as one of the characters so it works, at least for me it does.
I suppose you don't keep the old posts up forever when they're excerpts and that makes sense. I'll just have to follow as best I can from now on.
Hey thanks for the PG-13 rating. That's so respectful of your readers and I admire the consideration. ;)
I would have expected nothing less of you, Anne.
Snappy dialogue and well written :)
LOVE this, as always! My favorite line = "She’s buying you, just like she always did." I know people and situations that are just like that. You are truly a pro at writing what is real. Thanks for sharing!
Family gossip; my favorite treat.
I think we've seen the beginning before. It looks a little re-written. I think. The changes are subtle. Did you revise some of this?
I love the voice in this; and the character developement. I feel Nana is already a part of the nove, even if we haven't met her before (I'm late to these readings). My heart is breaking with Sal.
Thanks for sharing.
.........dhole
Sarah -- Just for a minute.
Cynthia -- Sally's having a hard time this week.
Matthew -- I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable but if I did, I guess that's a good thing.
MT -- Well I try to have at least a modicum of respect. It's a good thing you weren't here for the first 2.
Wendy -- Awww, thanks so much. That's sweet.
Shelley -- Isn't that great? How many times have you heard it? Is it cliche though?
Donna -- Yeah I did rework the front, how smart are you!!!! Nana is part of the novel and you might not have met her yet, she's only made one splashy appearance.
Nope, not cliche, real. Especially in a family setting. "Just like s/he always did" is something even I catch myself saying when referring to family.
I can't wait for the blow out!
I hope you have a happy weekend, Anne!
Love,
Lola
Oooh I really like this!! Poor Unlce Sal, my heart feels for him.
Oh, this is great! Like Nicole, I love the dialogue. It really moves the characters forward. Thank you for sharing these excerpts with us. :)
How did I miss this? Oh, right. Parent-teacher conferences. Anyway, I loved this. Real life family tensions on the page and I can't wait to see how far it goes. :)
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