We've a lot of material to cover today gentle readers, so let's get on with it shall we.
We had a new batch of tornadoes whip through last night and unfortunately these were a little closer to home. Actually a LOT closer to home. One cell whipped right over us before I even had a chance to turn on the tv and find out if we should go down to the basement bathroom. By the time I got to the tv (I was writing this blog post) it was gone. I've never seen anything move so fast. They said the cell carried 50 mph winds and I believe it. My trees are still standing but alas, my plants on the deck were blown to smithereens.
On to the next.
Lola, dearest LOLA, is having a contest because she can. You can go here to find out all about it.
Andrew at The Write Runneris hosting a BAD GIRLS blogfest so go check that out. Go ahead, I know you want to.
Don't forget the lovely Susan Fields is hosting a contest for hitting 100.
And Roxy is rocking steady with her own contest here.
I also want to say, I haven't heard anything from my partial yet, or my other 7 queries that are still out. I know some of the agents say that if you don't hear from them in a few weeks, they're not interested. However, none of those agents who are still holding on to my query and pages had that on their website, so I'll just chalk it up to them being really really busy.
I also wanted to say, check out Sarah's post on revisions yesterday at Falen Formulates Fiction. It's way cool and she's got pics!
Now, on to the important stuff... For those of you who read my excerpt yesterday, I was taken aback by how many said they wanted Tony to ask about the baby right away. I was holding on to that information until Genna dropped the bomb at the fourth of July party. However, as my readers are always right, and I don't want to disappoint them, I changed it. So here for your viewing pleasure is the tiny little change.
*******
She felt sorry for him but she lent no sympathetic gesture, gave no sign of acknowledgement. She had cried enough over the last ten years to last a lifetime. Now she felt it was his turn. Let him feel the loss and the pain. Let him know what she had been dealing with this last decade. She felt it was only right.
When his sobs quieted, he wiped his face with both his hands.
“What happened to the baby?” His voice was barely audible over the rain on the roof of the car.
“The baby didn’t make it Tony, just like us.”
“Oh Genna, I’m so sorry. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I knew Debbie manipulated me but I had no idea what she did to you. Truly, I didn’t. If I had…”
“Yes, well if you had, I’m sure we wouldn’t be sitting here having this conversation.” Genna looked out the fogged window and wiped it with her arm.
*********
Now, I hope that appeals to everyone because full disclosure won't happen until the fourth of July party. Or should I say, after the fourth of July party.
I've also finished the scene between Genna and Nana Rocco. Big surprise! BIG surprise! I've only got one more setting to write but that should be more or less easy peasy. It's written in the paper pad so I just have to transfer it to Word. Hopefully, I'll be done with 21k under my belt. Yay. Then on to Act 2. More drama.
As to the fence, I shall be working on that this weekend. The weather finally broke, down to the 70's. I had such a bad case of sun poisoning from last weekend I didn't dare go out this week to finish. I've also gotten half the dirt moved, half the hole filled, and half the yard in complete disarray. We shall be working hard this weekend. I so need a man. But only for yard work.
And so gentle readers, another edition of the Grille closes with my hope for a lovely weekend for all of you. Write something wonderful, have fun with your families, friends and/or cohorts, and be safe. The weather is very unpredictable.
36 comments:
Hello! Those tornadoes sound scary, I am glad you are okay (poor plants!) Good luck with your queries – I’d also assume the agents in question are probably busy. It’s times like this I wish I had a little tracker on my ms so I could log in and see its progress (it’s on the desk! Oh, it’s been moved to the In-tray. It’s back on the desk. Agh, it’s under that heavy pile of books!) Your story snippet sounds interesting – I don’t even know your characters Genna and Nana Rocco, but I am already intrigued!
Sorry to hear about your plants, but I'm glad you are ok. I once had a tornado whip through the field out back behhind my house. We were ok but wow, it was intense. The sun poisoning sounds awful. Take care of yourself. And yay! for finishing Act 1. Have a great weekend yourself. :)
Anne, your revision hit the mark perfectly!! Tony asked the question he should have asked, and Genna's answer reflects her anger and her resentment. You handled it so cleverly, too, because Genna withholds from him (and the reader) all specific details which I, for one, now want to know BAD. That's the kind of thing that keeps 'em turning the pages!
We had some storms yesterday afternoon, but more thunder and scary clouds than actual wind and rain. So glad you're okay -- and your computer is okay. Do you back up your writing files? I have a flash drive right now with all my stories and WiP folders, a cheap fix until I can afford an external hard drive. If something happened to my computer (lightning messing up my mother board, etc.) and my files weren't backed up, I think I'd be literally sick. :P
Have a great day!!!
((hugs))
Thanks for sharing these links Anne, I'll have to check them out.
I have to agree with Nicole, the hinting is done just right so that we are left WANTING the knowledge.
Shameless promotion:
I have an awesome guest post today on my blog by Cole Gibsen.
This one is pure query/submission gold folks in which she shares the ACTUAL query that landed her an agent and the correspondence that ensued.
Please stop by to read, comment and follow.
Thanks!
Jayne -- Thanks for coming around and becoming a "friend". All comments are welcome. I'm glad you enjoy my characters. Every Thursday I post an excerpt from my current WIP so come on back and you'll get to know all of them.
Sarah Jayne -- I'll tell you what, it's a good thing I didn't know it was a cell because I think I would have totally freaked out. Luckily I just thought it was a bitch of a thunderstorm, which it was but still...
Nicole -- I'm so glad you liked the new insert. Tara was right, you were right, Roland was right, my beta was right. But I still held onto Tony not knowing until the 4th. This works and flows now, and you're right about Genna's anger and resentment. It builds. Thanks.
Matthew -- Thanks.
I'm glad you are o.k. I think tornados are scary. Great job on the revision. I really like your story.
Thanks for the links!
We men are good for yard work, yup. Occasionally we're good for other things, like holding on to the remote control and perhaps taking out the trash. We're helpful like that.
Glad the tornadoes have left you (relatively) unscathed, good lady. Do try to avoid repeat sun poisoning...
Eeek, you said the T-word. We had some thunderstorms, but luckily I was already in my in-laws basement painting when they rolled through.
Sorry they got your plants, though!
My man's not good for much in the yard, other than lifting heavy rocks. That's all I really need him for, anyway, though. :-)
Yeah, that sucker just skimmed us - we got those winds, yikes. Hubby had to sleep on Baby A's floor most of the night.
Love the revise. Awesome job, and still leaves readers wanting to know the rest. Suspense rocks.
Yes, I must know what happened to the baby.
Tornado country is where I live, too, yessir. I hate it. It messes with my internet. :-)
Christine -- Thanks! We usually don't get there where I am exactly, but this was right down on top of us. And it was scary.
Simon -- Men are good for other things yes, especially the trash and an occasional unloading of the dishwasher. I don't know where the sun poisoning came from. I was a beach baby after all.
Summer -- My poor plants. They've only been outside for a week. I think I can save them though.
Tara -- I watched them cross the line and I wanted to call you and tell you to be careful.
Thanks about the revision. I thought you might like it.
Christi -- All shall be revealed. I had to keep shutting down the computer which is why this post is so choppy.
First, I'm glad you (and monster baby) are okay, even if the plants are not.
LOVE the revised version. Perfect. I love her comeback. I love that she (you) reveal nothing further. This is more realistic (he would ask, and that is exactly the the way she would respond), and yet also builds MORE tension and suspense for the reader. A small change that makes a BIG difference. Well done.
Thanks for the shout out, Anne.
Just in case you want to know--you are full of awesome and I adore you.
Happy Friday/Weekend!
Love,
Lola
I like both versions, but honestly I think if she wanted to twist the knife she wouldn't tell him.
Al
Publish or Perish
Hate tornados, really, really hate them! Glad you're okay!
BTW, my word verification was "turvi." How ironic is THAT??
Wow! So glad you're OK and that the tornado didn't do too much damange. Scary stuff!
Have a great weekend!
thanks for the shoutout!
Also boo on tornadoes. It's a bit early for tornado season for us up here.
hmmm, now that i've written that i realize i had a dream with a tornado in it last night. weird
Lola -- I'm glad you like the revised version. I didn't realize how much that needed to be in there. And hey, the adoration is mutual.
Al -- Thanks for joining in my little band of crazy. I wanted to leave to leave the knife dangling but my *fans* are right. Builds better tension and makes for another dramatic scene later.
Cynthia -- Perhaps one of mine today will be "topsy" and I will be complete.
Talli -- Just a bunch of smashed plants and a few tree limbs down but we're fine, thanks. Have a great one!
Sarah A -- You better get a move on and buy that weather radio! I mean it!
Unlike with Christi, tornadoes do more than upset my internet. My internal organs decide to visit each other as in my heart plunging to my stomach as it rushes up.
Seeing a massive tornado snaking down from the death-black skies and heading toward you is a sight that snatches your breath away, making your chest cold-clutch.
I am glad you are safe. The line : "The baby didn't make it, Tony, just like us." It really makes the scene reach out and grab you.
Stay safe, Roland
Thanks for the mention about the Bad Girl Blogfest!
Your excerpt looks good, but I don't have enough context to really judge it. I'll try to keep up!
Roland -- I've lived through hurricanes and bad, bad nor'easters but nothing like the thing that came by last night. It was too fast. Thanks for the thumbs up on the revision. It works much better doesn't it? I'm glad I took everyone's advice.
Andrew -- Anytime, this one looks like fun. I post excerpts every Thursday, yesterday's is still there but will be coming down early tomorrow morning.
"The baby didn't make it Tony, just like us."
Ouch.
Great post and thanks for sharing about the contests and the WIP! Hope you have a great weekend.
B. Miller -- Yes, but does it work? Great weekend right back at ya!
I'm so glad you're safe after that tornado. Sorry about your plants. :(
Thanks for the contest info! And have a lovely weekend, m'dear. :)
Wow about the tornado -- glad you're all right!
I think the revision you made is perfect, and it sounds just like Genna's character, like you'd had that line in all along. Love it, as usual.
Ahhh, tornado season is so scary!! Be safe! The Man always tells me to get in the bathtub when there's a tornado warning. So grab a flashlight and a book and climb in the tub!
Glam -- Working on the yard as usual.
Shelley -- Thanks. I think it works too.
Hannah -- The tub's upstairs on the second floor. We have to go downstairs in the basement to the bathroom and squeeze between the dryer and the wall.
Sun poisoning is so bad. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. And you are one brave lady to handle tornado season as well as you do. I enjoyed the snippet of your work in progress. Sounds very interesting. I can hardly wait to read the July 4th section!
That's all us men are worth...yard work!
:). Have a great weekend working in the dirt.
Roxy -- I don't know why I got it. Well, obviously I was in the sun for too long. I'm not brave, just stupid according to some. I really need to stop looking and just hide in the bathroom like I'm supposed to.
DL -- No, men are worth more than that, I just haven't found one worth any more than yard work yet. :) Have a great weekend!
Glad to hear you're ok through all the tornados. I can't imagine how scary that must be!
Thanks for sharing so many great links AND for sharing your work with us. Good luck on the queries and requests!
Great links, Anne, thank you.
Tornadoes sound scary. I'm from earthquake country recently relocated to tornado country but haven't experienced one yet. Not especially looking forward to it. :-) Glad you're all right!
Have a spectacular weekend but ration the sunshine. Oh, BTW how do you get a man to do yard work?
Thanks for the links! I always wonder how long to wait before I consider a query 'rejection by silence'. Even when they don't say anything on their website, if I don't hear anything after three months I either resubmit or cross them off my list as 'not REALLY accepting queries.'
Lisa & Laura -- You're entirely welcome. Thanks for stopping by.
VR -- The only thing you have to worry about with a tornado is not being stupid and looking for it. When the blackness of the sky makes you wonder what's going on, that means finding your hidey hole, grabbing the kids and dog and going there as fast as you can.
I think the only true way to get a man to do yard work is promise him a free afternoon to watch the game of his choice. But I don't know, it's been a long time since having one, I don't know if those rules apply anymore.
Creepy Girl -- I think three months is about right however, I queried 'M' last October before it was really ready. I revised the snot out of it then started to requery in March. I finally heard from one of the agents I queried last October. 5 months. So who knows. Thanks for stopping by.
You have some great links! I hadn't seen Roxie's contest yet. I'll be sure to stop by. I'm falling behind on blogfest participation. all this query prep is killing me. And I'm now at the point where I'm also rethinking everything. Very aggravating.
But I wish you the best with your queries still out. I'm sending positive vibes your way.
Happy weekend!
Carolina -- I can't do blogfests anymore, I don't get any work done, I'm reading and commenting.
And you know, if you need any help with your query, I've been known to help out pretty goodly. I've got references.
Thanks for the vibes, I need all I can get.
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