Thursday, April 15, 2010

Something-Something

Here's the set-up. It's the day after Genna's party at the bar where she sees Tony and they talk and he may or may not cry. If you remember, Uncle Sally was upstairs in his office when she returned and they had a little conversation. He told her he had a surprise for her. Here's the surprise...

Disclaimer -- I think this one's tame enough I don't need a disclaimer. Sorry Sarah, sorry Hannah. Hey, how about PG 13?

Also, don't forget it will only be posted for two days. And this still is a first draft.


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25 comments:

sarahjayne smythe said...

Hee! You gotta love family. :) I love that last line. I can see Sal yelling it. And I can really tell you know your way around a kitchen. :) Great stuff here.

Piedmont Writer said...

Sarah Jayne -- Wait until next week, he swears in Italian!!! 27 years in the restaurant business at least it came in handy for something. Thanks.

Jen said...

Oh families are crazy aren't they!!! I love the last line and I'm looking forward to more!!! Ooo I look forward to swearing in Italian! I just came back from a wedding and the grooms side spoke italian so I can even picture it!!!

Holy cow 27 years in the restaurant business that's amazing!

Tara said...

Great! I cannot wait to find out why Sally's pissed!

We need to get Kasia and Sally together and let them swear at each other in Polish and Italian, lol.

Piedmont Writer said...

Jen -- Yeah, they swear a lot in my book, in English and Italian so it's a lot of fun. 27 years was too long but it was fun while it lasted.

Tara -- It's such a twisty-twist, you'll like it I know. A lot of secrets are exposed... Kasia and Sally would have a great time once they set down with a bottle between them.

Christi Goddard said...

I wish someone would invest 250,000 in me :-) Then I could quit my job and write full time.

Matthew Rush said...

Great piece Anne, thanks for sharing. I love the hangover description, so true to life.

Summer said...

Great last line! I loved the wharf's description. I was out of town last Thursday and missed the big Tony reaction! So sad! But glad I'm here for today's installation!

Piedmont Writer said...

Christi -- Well, it's not without its price that's for sure. Wait until next week.

Matthew -- I've had far too many in my life so I could just draw from experience.

Summer -- I'm so sorry you missed last week. I'm glad you're here too.

Bish Denham said...

Wonderful! And thanks for stopping by my blog!

Courtney Barr - The Southern Princess said...

Goodness what a family!

Love the last line ;o)




Visit My Kingdom Anytime

Crystal Cook said...

This is GREAT!! I love it, I love the feeling between your characters. It's so real, you did a great job :)

Piedmont Writer said...

Bish -- thank you, anytime.

Courtney -- They're Italian! What can I say?

Crystal -- Thanks so much.

Lola Sharp said...

Great job Anne! And you left us hanging on a twist! Hmmmm...money does weird things to family.

We shall find out next Thursday, yes?

Love,
Lola

Piedmont Writer said...

Lola -- oh yes! It's all written and ready to go. I didn't want to give you the whole thing all at once. What kind of blogger would I be?

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Whoa. I just walked into this without any background and was completely pulled in. Great family dynamics!

Shelley Sly said...

Oh!! Love it, love it! Especially the end. I love when things get messy in the family, it's such good drama. Nicely written, I saw the whole scene unfold in front of me. Great job!

VR Barkowski said...

This is terrific. I agree the family dynamics are outstanding. I was sucked in immediately, and the hook at the end is great.

However, what really stands out for me is the description. I could visualize the wharf, town, see the restaurant and its brand new kitchen. Due to circumstances beyond my control I have been in HEAVY critique mode for two weeks. I have read so many pages of flat, empty, generic description I want to scream. It isn't the amount of description, it's the few telling details that bring a setting to life. This sings, Anne.

Donna Hole said...

I liked all the homey descriptions too. This had such a comfortable feel to it. Very nicely done.

......dhole

Piedmont Writer said...

Tricia -- Thanks so much for stopping by and joing the fun.

Shelley -- Oh it gets messy all right.

VR -- Thanks you so much, that's very sweet of you to say.

Donna -- Thank you Donna. I like that you think it's comfortable.

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

I LOVE this scene! I was so there, on the wharf, seeing the little shops, the inside of the restaurant. And I could really feel the relationship between Uncle Sal and Genna. Their closeness, their ease with each other, is palpable -- and enviable! I want an Uncle Sal!

You know I like to offer suggestions, 'cause I'm filled with that spirit of writers helping writers, and 'cause I want you to do the same when I get some of my WiP up for feedback! The wharf is a perfect place to add scent descriptions. The smell of the water, that almost fishy odor the hangs in the air, the way the sun's heat perfumes the weathered wood of the boardwalk or pier. Those smells will have your reader shoulder to shoulder with Genna.

And, that's all I've got! It's excellent writing, Anne. Superb!! Write on!

Piedmont Writer said...

Nicole -- See that's why we're friends. I so forgot all about the smell but you're absolutely right. I've got to add that in there especially since it's low tide.

DL Hammons said...

Loved it! Beautifully written.

Piedmont Writer said...

Thanks DL.

Palindrome said...

Ah, missed it! I finally have a working mouse and a keyboard though!