My dearest friends, I know that I have been going on and on about my birthday and I have loved every minute of your sending me those great wishes. I wished a lot of things for myself...
But, I've had to make a very painful but realistic decision within these last few days. I have to put my dog down. I don't want to, God knows how much I don't want to, we've been through quite a lot together she and I.
I hand fed her when she was just 10 hours old and her mother walked away from her. We lived in a teeny tiny little camp trailer back then, in the mountains of Nevada with cattle and coyotes for company. She protected my back from every harm and I protected hers.
She played tennis with a vengeance, Andre Agassi would have been proud, she loved swimming in the ocean even when it was 30 degrees and she slept at the foot of my bed every single night. We crossed the country twice, moved 8 times, and she never once complained. As long as she had me and a tennis ball, all was right with her world.
After a fashion, she even got used to sharing me with Monster Baby.
But now I have to say good-bye. My heart is breaking again. I've said good-bye before to pets I've loved but every time I have to do this it gets harder and harder. Every time I have to do this I say I'll never get another one. But I do.
I busted my balls and my shoulder building the fence for her, so she could have her acre to run in, to play bally in, to be able to roam around and not be tied. And now it's too late. She just can't walk anymore. I have to carry her up and down the stairs. It's time. And I don't want it to be.
I'm sorry I won't be able to post the next excerpt from Genna & Tony. I know you all understand. I won't be around much, even though I said I was going to take a break, and I said I would sneak in and out, I don't even think I'll be up to that. I was going to pretend like everything was all right and just go around with a shiny happy face but I can't. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I don't know if you can see it or not but it's broken. This hurts just too damn much.
So, I'll see you when I see you. Truthfully, I don't know when that will be.