I'm having a hard time lately with the blog. Don't get me wrong, I love my blog. I love my "friends". I love reading other people's blogs. I love thinking about writing my blog, I love writing my blog. But...
It's not the same as it used to be. I know change is inevitable, and I'm sort of not complaining, I'm sort of kind of...sad. For the way it used to be.
I remember the first time someone commented on one of my very first blogs and I thought I was going to pee my pants I was so happy, someone thought what I said was worthy of a response. And those first comments turned into conversations and I had friends. Not 'follower friends' but real friends I could discuss my writing with. And somewhere along the way we got know each other better and shared some of our personal life. Not the bad stuff or the junk that we all go through but just enough to make us more 'real' to each other instead of "internet" friends.
And I know this blog is supposed to be "my platform" so I can get readers and fans and all kinds of followers to be famous enough so that when I sell my first book everyone will say, "Oh I know her from the blog, she's fabulous, go buy her book."
Now, as I'm nearing 100 followers/friends, I'm finding it increasingly harder to comment. Not only on my own blog but yours as well, because for each of those little tiny faces, I read each and every thing you post. I try and comment, I really do, but sometimes there's so many other responses to your blog I don't feel like you'll miss me if I don't respond. And now that I'm getting so many comments to my own posts, I feel so badly if I just say, "Thanks so much for reading this today. I appreciate it."
I want it to go back to the way it used to be. When we could share conversation over coffee. I want to be able to discuss the finer points of writing instead of a hastily scribbled, "I so hear you on that." I want to have the TIME to read and respond instead of just tearing through each blog without focus.
I know we all have real lives, and real goals, and kids, dogs, husbands, wives, dirt that needs to be shoveled. Maybe I'm just saying, don't think because I don't comment, I don't read you or hear you, the highs and lows, the excitement the disappointment. I do. And if I write a hastily scribbled, "hey thanks," it doesn't mean that I didn't read each and every comment you wrote and appreciate and love each and every one of you for caring enough to say something to me that day.
I don't want to be one of the bloggers that writes a post and doesn't respond. I could, but I don't want to. I need that connection between us. I like that connection. It's what puts us all in this same writing boat together.
And so I'll end this post with a plea to all those people who didn't check Sunday's blog from me, there are many many awards that haven't been picked up yet. I know, I've been around. I also know it was Easter Sunday and yesterday Monday, so scroll down now and see if your name is there. It might be, I gave out almost 30 awards.
So have a happy week.