Under Pressure

Good morning. Let me just say how much I miss you all. I've tried getting around to the blogs every so often, but it's a hit or miss proposition. Trying to get the latest book wrapped up, starting on the new one, dealing with school... it's just been too much.

Pressure.

I know a lot of you are dealing with enormous pressure on an everyday basis -- kids, jobs, husbands, housework. It's enough to make you explode.

But then, on top of all that, you're writing, revising, submitting, querying, polishing, beta-reading, all for the sake of the thing inside your soul that if you gave it up you would die.

Now there are some bloggers out there who blog every day, with phenomenal content, who have thousands of followers, who get tweeted and retweeted, and are just the bomb. They also have kids and lives, and their own reality to deal with. I envy those people who can do it all.

I'm not one of those people. I can barely keep up with the blogs I read, never mind write a coherent post for one day. Then there is the pressure to Tweet, keep up with LinkedIn and Goodreads, keep up with the marketing and publicity for my books.

And now that I have so many books out, that pressure becomes ten-fold. The guru's say to get a lot of content out there, keep writing, keep producing, more more more. That's the only way to make a name for yourself. And on top of all that, market, publicize, get your name out there, keep it up, more more more.

It's hard. Damn hard. And let me tell you how many times I thought about chucking it all. Just giving up writing and going out and getting a "real" job. A LOT.

But I didn't, and I can't, because I love writing so much.

Tell me -- Do you feel the need to "keep up"? How do you handle the pressure? What do you give up first?

CosVogEllGirl Wants to Know -- What Kind of Writer Are You?

We’ve all seen them, all taken them, those quizzes in Cosmo, Vogue, Elle magazines that teach us who we are, but more importantly, who we can be if we change our ways, find our limits, secure our sanity by taking five minutes to choose A – B – C.

Today I’ve put together a little quiz of my own to show you just what kind of writer you are. Answer the 5 questions, and your true writer self will emerge.

1) When meeting your cousin at the airport whom you haven’t seen in ten years, do you….?

A) Know her immediately, give her a big hug, and welcome her with enthusiastic affection.

B) Look around carefully at the other people in baggage claim to make sure she’s your cousin before giving her a stiff hug.

C) Hold a placard up at the terminal exit.

D) Cry when you realize it’s your cousin ELLEN, not EILEEN.

2) Your husband/S.O. offers to go to the grocery store and comes back with nothing you put on the list. Do you….?

A) Say, “That’s okay, honey, I’ve always wanted to learn how to cook Brazilian Thai.”

B) Pull the stuff out of the bags, put it away, and say nothing.

C) Leave the stuff in the bags, and take it all back to the store the next day.

D) Cry when he says, “I couldn’t read your handwriting.”

3) You’ve just finished reading the latest best-seller all your friends have been raving about. It wasn’t all that. Do you….?

A) Find the good scenes and discuss those at your book club.

B) Pass the book along to your cousin, and when she asks, “How was it?” say “Okay.”

C) Go straight to Amazon and write an unfavorable review.

D) Cry because you know your book that’s been in your hard drive for 6 years is soooo much better.

4) At the gas station, fifteen minutes before a huge presentation at work, you accidentally spill gas down your leg and into your brand new $100- high heels. Do you….?

A) Stop off at the mall, grab a pair of new shoes and nylons before heading to the office.

B) Go into the Ladies Room, take off your nylons, wash the shoes, and head to the office.

C) Go to the office smelling like gasoline, there’s no time to do anything about it.

D) Cry. Now you won’t be able to return the shoes.

5) Your mother says she hates your new haircut. Do you….?

A) Say, “Don’t worry, it’ll grow out soon.”

B) Go into the bathroom, wash your hair, and style it the way you normally do.

C) Go back to the salon and have them give you a pixie.

D) Cry because you knew it was drastic and if your mother hates it, then so will everyone else.

If you answered A to most of the questions, you’re a CHEERLEADER –

No one will get you down. Not agents, publishers or your beta/critters. The book you’re writing is fantastic and when it needs work, you do it gladly because you know it’s going to get accepted and will be a best-seller. You’re on every social media site, have zillions of followers, and have done everything you know how to build that platform. Go YOU!

If you answered B to most of the questions, you’re a DOCTOR –

Writing is hard work. You know it and accept it. You’re informed and well read and go about the business of writing your fourth novel knowing some day you will be published. You’ve built a modest following on three social media sites, know what your platform is, and never stray from that. You’re not afraid of rewriting and revising.

If you answered C to most of the questions, you’re an ACUTARY –

You have no need for frills or friends. You only deal in facts. You write doggedly and determinedly, craft books by the bed for light reading. If you can’t get an agent to look at THIS book, you’ll write another. You’ve spent years honing the craft, memorizing genre guidelines, you know who you are and what you want – to be a mid-list author with a guaranteed income. You have a blog with a few followers, and Tweet occasionally. You don’t have time for social media. You’re a writer.

If you answered D to most of the questions, you’re a MESS –

Take some time, do some research on writing and genre, grab some craft books, get on the blogs, become informed. Learn sentence structure, grammar, punctuation, find some beta readers, invest in Kleenex. Getting critiques, losing contests, and finding rejections from agents and publishers in your inbox takes a thick skin. If you can’t handle the pressure, put your pen down and walk away. Not everyone with a great idea for a story can write one.

Thanks for taking the quiz. So tell me, WHAT KIND OF WRITER ARE YOU?

My Writing Life in Increments

I know you probably don't want to hear about how I spend my days, but as this is my first second post being back, I figured I'd start with that. Nice and easy.

I'd like to get something straight before we start. I am NOT a stay-at-home Mom who writes. I am a writer who happens to work from home. I have nothing against SAHM's, I was one. Believe me, it's the hardest job a person can have. But when the Monster started school full-time, I started writing full-time.  This isn't a hobby for me, it's not a job I just clock in and out from, I have a schedule, and deadlines, and goals, like any other career oriented person working in a major corporation.

The Schedule -- I am up before dawn, usually around 5am. I make a cup of tea, and head downstairs to my "office" (a corner in the playroom where I keep all my "stuff". I can't wait to move, I'll have a real room for my office.) I get on the computer and check my email accounts (3), make my one Tweet for the day, and then check my stats on my books. Depending on what mail I need to answer, I do that, then I try and get on the blogs to see what I've missed. At 6:30, I wake the Monster, fight with her to get ready for school, and out the door by 7:30. I'm back by 7:45 and again at my desk. I share my ritual morning email with my crit partner, and then I go into "work" by 8am. I write until 1:30 when I have to go pick up the Monster from school. (In the pick-up line I get a 45 minute break where I read something everyday.) Back home by 2:30, I do the Mommy thing, the house thing, the supper thing, and then back to the computer around 7pm for a round of edits on what I worked on that morning. And then do it all again the next day.

Weekends are a bit different. I'm up at 5, but I generally work on blog posts and paraphenalia for my books. I don't tend to "write" unless I'm all caught up on the business end of things.

The Deadlines -- I try to write at least 2500 words a day. Of course, it's not a hard and fast rule, some days I write just 100, with 4 hours spent doing research, and others I can break 4K when the words are flowing. But by and large, by the end of the week I like to see myself with between 25 to 50 pages. I also made a promise to the Monster that I wouldn't work during her vacations so that I can spend time with her. So I get the bulk of my writing done from the end of August - November. From Thanksgiving to Christmas, it's crazy nuts, so last year I wrote a short story. In January I go back to the major work and stay with that until Easter break. (And hopefully it's done. This year, with my dad sick, left a lot to be desired, so the deadline for that particular book has been moved.)

However, I worked on the final edits for REMEMBERING YOU, put THE DUKE'S DIVORCE out to paperback, and am in the final stages for THE LADY'S FATE and REMEMBERING YOU to paperback. Am also in the process of finishing up another short story for the Regency line. Over the course of last summer, I did nothing but read. I went to the beach, found the beginning of a women's fiction novel and that was it. This summer, with moving and getting both houses situated with paint and repairs, I don't think I'll be doing too much writing either. But once the Monster is in school again, I'm diving back into THE LADY'S MASQUERADE (which I'm afraid is going to be a complete rewrite and not just a revise) and will hopefully have that done and out in all formats by Thanksgiving.

The Goals -- I read once, that you need to have your writing goals listed for the next ten years. I won't bore you with mine, only that my goals are pretty simple. Two books a year, plus two or three short stories. Some books are harder to write than others, which is why I'm constantly shifting my focus. I always have two or three projects going at the same time, so when I get bored or frustrated by one, I can move to another, until that gets snappy, then I can move to another. I find this works for me because as I'm working on whichever, I'm letting the other stories rest, and when I finally do get back to them, I'm looking at them with fresh eyes. Last year, I met my goals, and this year, I'm hoping to do the same. I keep telling myself life would be easier with a laptop, but I'm not so sure. We'll see.

And so, there you have it. My Writing Life in Increments. (And as I'm sure you know, real life can and does intrude from time to time, so all of the above is generally thrown right out the window.)

Tell me -- How do you write? Do you work full-time and grab whatever time you can? Or are you a full-time writer? What are some of your goals? Do you have deadlines? What time constraints are you under?

Killing Barthomolew Wood

Now in the writing world there is the phrase, "Kill your Darlings." Now for some, this means don't be afraid to put your characters through hell and back. Sometimes this means we have to actually kill them off.

In one of my books, THE CAPTAIN'S LADY, I am going to have to kill off one of my characters. Barthomolew Wood. He's the heroine's (Amanda) husband. And in Regency romance, the heroine is typically not married, and  if she is, she's certainly not supposed to want her husband to die.

However, Barthomolew Wood is an evil man. He's lied, beaten her, kidnapped their daughter, left her penniless and alone in Boston, sold slaves, beaten them, and is just a nasty piece of work.

I can honestly say it's going to be fun when I get to off his sleazy hide.

Now, the problem I'm having is, do I allow Richard (the hero of this story), a man of honor and integrity, a former Captain in the Royal Navy, do the deed?

This causes all kinds of repercussions for me. Although I think the readers won't care, (and might actually be thrilled this toad of a man is dead and Richard did the right thing) however, Amanda may care a great deal. Barthomolew is the father of her child, despicable cad that he is. He does love his daughter, and has given her everything money can buy. He's treated her well (despite the fact he took her away from her mother) and has shown great affection to her.

How is a mother supposed to tell her daughter that her new love interest has killed her father? See where I'm going with this. The daughter only knows her father to be a loving and generous man. If Richard kills him, the child will never love him no matter what.

Now I also know this is all very heavy and deep, and may not even be something any of you think about for your characters. But every action has an equal reaction. What if Richard's killing of Barthomolew does have a negative reaction from my readers? How many will I let down?

And unfortunately Barthomolew does indeed need to die in order for Richard and Amanda to be together. I can't just let them get divorced, I've already played that card.

Tell me -- Do you really think through the actions of your characters before writing a major scene like this? Do you delve into their psyche or just write how you want the story to go?

A MUST READ BOOK!

Good Morning. I was recently given a gift by the lovely Anne R. Allen of the book INDIE CHICKS an anthology of personal stories from Indie women writers.





If you are woman

A writer

A Mom

A survivor

If you are overwhelmed, prone to anxiety, unsure, or just have no clue how to manage writing and the stress of real life at the same time

This book is for you.

Twenty-five personal essays from women Indie Writers that will leave you laughing, crying, shaking your head, and saying, "Oh my God, that is so MY life."

Not only are there the personal essays, but sneak peeks into the latest books of the writers and where to find them on the interwebs. I put so many books on my TBR list just compiled from this anthology, my reading list will take me into 2014 I'm sure.

This book is ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC and I can't rave about it enough.

Also, all proceeds go to the Susan G. Komen foundation for cancer research, so it's a win-win all the way around.

You can buy it here on Amazon.

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In other news, I'm posting tomorrow on a special cause that won't cost you anything but a click of your mouse, so please, please, please stop by. Here's a hint... and with that face, you won't be able to say no.




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And I'll be at Nicki's on Wednesday for another interview, and she found my favorite song in the whole world on You Tube, so I hope you'll swing by for that.

Dory Says

Okay, for those of you who don't know who Dory is, she's the little fish that helped Nemo save his dad. If you don't know who Nemo is rent the movie, "Finding Nemo."

Anyway, I think enough of us are in the same boat here (lol sometimes I'm so witty --because a dory IS a boat) to make me want to get some kind of cheerleader thing going on--- Okay here goes ---

Stop the Self Doubt, Yay Team, Push It Back, Push It Back, Way Back,
No More Recriminations, Yay Team, Take It Out, Take It Out, Way Out,
You Are A Fantastic Writer, Yay Team, Yes You Are, Yes You Are, We All Are.

Okay that was pretty pathetic but I was never a cheerleader so I don't know how but you get my drift.

We are, all of us, doing something that only we can do. Tell our own stories. I have my share of self-doubt, so do you, so does she, and so does he. The only person writing today that I think knows what the hell he's doing is Mr. Bailey, but then he is most god-like anyway. The rest of us are chumming around in the water looking for a line to grab onto to that will pull us to the surface so we can see the light of day and look into that agent's eyes (or telephone receiver) and say, "yes, I'd love a million dollar contract."

Will it happen, probably not for a million dollars, but I can dream. I think we are all swimming around in the ocean of self-doubt, fear and loathing because we can't grasp the idea that we are GOOD WRITERS.

Okay, I'm only going to say this once, (or maybe twice)

WE ARE ALL BRILLIANT do you know why? Because only WE can write our own stories. I can't write yours and you can't write mine. Oh you can suggest a bunch of things to make it better, words, phrases, semi-colons, but the only person who can write that story is you (or me - I've lost my train of thought). It's hard doing what we do. It's such a singular occupation, it's scary sitting staring at a blank screen, piece of paper, fingers poised waiting...waiting for the words to come.

And then they do. Like I said yesterday, I wrote a bunch of crap the other day. But you know what, it's MY crap. You didn't write it, you don't know what it means, you don't know what I'm going to do with it, where it's going to end up. It might not ever be Hemingway, but you know what, who cares if I'm Hem. I believe in my writing, I believe in the integrity of my story, if I didn't, I wouldn't write.

So, let's just take today and throw all our self-doubt, fear, loathing, self-pity back into the ocean and pick up the pen. No matter if we are all doing this alone, we still all swim in the school together and as Dory says,

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming...."

Motivation

Yesterday we talked about character motivation. Today I want to talk about our motivation to write. Is it something inherent? Is it passed down to us from our parents DNA (not mine), or do we find it somewhere along the road of life?
Do we do it for the chance at fulfilling a life-long dream? Because you love to write? Are you a narcissist who only wants to see your name in print? Is it about the chance to make a boat-load of money? (I heard there was a 6-figure/2 book deal out of Harlequin for a debut author last week--doesn't that make you want to bang your head on the cement? Well it does me, and I'm nothing if not honest.)

I'll tell you my story. Promise me you won't laugh. It's kind of corny. Remember the Walton's? Okay for those of you who aren't old enough, (good God some of you weren't even born then) The Walton's was a drama on tv based in the
1940's. In it were, I don't know 6 kids (and don't ask me to name them, I couldn't) grandma and grandpa, Maw and Paw. Well the oldest son was John-boy (yes, his name was John-boy, this was a stab at wholesome family values entertainment and I guess it worked, the show was on for almost 10 years I think)...

I'm sorry I digress...Anyway, besides Donny Osmond and David Cassidy (and if you don't know who they are, you'll have to wait for another post) I was wildly crazy over John-boy Walton (not Richard Thomas the actor who portrayed him, the character himself) BECAUSE he wanted to be a writer. More than anything in the world. I remember the first Christmas show, John-boy got a set of legal pads and he just thought that was the living end. And of course it was a tear jerker show and that's when I fell in love with John-boy who made me want to be a writer too.

Yeah, I know, how stupid is that, but things were different back then, it was the
70's, women were breaking out into the world, we had just come through the sexual revolution, Gloria Steinam was burning bras, God my mother even went to college to become a teacher instead of staying at home with me and my brothers. I knew I would have to become something when I grew up and I figured, I had always gotten really good grades in English, and I liked to read (all the time), so why not. How hard could it be?

(I am now sitting on my office floor, gasping for breath, watching coffee drip out my nose becaue I'm laughing so hard.)

Any-hoo, I tried it, (still have the totally lame attempts at romance novels I tried writing when I got out of high school) had to become a waitress because I didn't go to college. Worked my way up the restaurant ladder, still writing but not really, started my own business, went to college myself, and that's where I learned about expository writing. That was the best -- college -- if I could do that all over again I would. I went to a hippie college in Vermont, it was actually one of the first long distance learning colleges in the U.S. and I had a blast. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I managed to, at the end, pull a not half-bad short story out of my hat. Now mind you, I wrote long hand and had to type everything up on my trusty Smith-Corona. That was 1996. I didn't get my first computer unitl 2006. Yes, it took that long. That was when I went absolutely crazy. I wrote until my fingers bled. That was the beginning of my finished manuscript. (My daughter also crashed that computer and I lost all the files so I had to re-do it when I got my second computer 2008, but thankfully I had written the first draft long hand.)

I moved to the Piedmont in '07 (had a series of unfortunate accidents, found out my daughter was very ill and also found I couldn't work at a normal job -- normal being standing, sitting, walking for very long periods of time which left out most everything in a restaurant) so I decided, if Stephanie Meyer, J.K. Rowling, Kasey Michaels, and Sabrina Jeffries can do it, why can't I?

I know, I know, not really tremendous motivation, and am probably doing if for the wrong reasons but you know what...for all the head banging and finger cramping and hair tearing, it's the best thing I've done in a long time. There is nothing, nothing, in this world I love more than staring at a blank screen and typing away, creating new lives, tension, happy ever afters.

Now that's my story and I'm sticking to it. What's yours?