Friday, January 22, 2010


17 January 2010

Donald Maass Literary Agency
121 West 27th Street, Suite 801
New York NY 10001

Dear Mr. Maass,

I am seeking representation for THE LADY'S MASQUERADE, a single title Regency romance, complete at 98,000 words.

Someone is trying to kill Lady Penelope Leighton's father and now the fiend has turned his sights on her! Frightened, she flees London in the dead of night masquerading as a traveling companion.

When William Smith, the Earl of Westerly, arrives at Wakefield to keep an eye on his aunt's cousin, he is more than surprised when he meets her young, beautiful companion. A confirmed bachelor, William is fascinated by the mysterious Miss Penny Higgins whose sweet, sunny smile and unfathomable intellect are in direct contrast to her dowdy clothes and recurring stutter. The duchess keeps a strict eye on Penny, and William means to find out why, but no one is talking. He discerns the ladies are in trouble, they are obviously in hiding, and now it appears he will also have to masquerade... as the steward.

Before either of them realize it, they've lost their hearts: Penny to a man who's sworn to never marry and William to a woman incognito and destined for the hand of a duke.

After Penny's true identity and her reason for hiding are finally revealed to William, he immediately engages his friends to help in the campaign to catch the villains. However, upon their return to London, a confounding chain of events finds his cousin Robert as Penny's fiance. William realizes his desire for Penny is more than just a passing fancy and is determined to marry her, but first he must find the blackguard who threatens her.

I would be delighted to send you the synopsis and first three chapters. Thank you for your consideration.

Very Cordially Yours,

And that's it, what do you think. Business letter format, introduction with genre, word count, marketability (single title), and the whole thing at the end with the synopsis and first three chapters says that I have completed all tasks that need to be completed when trying to sell a book. I may be a newbie with no experience but at least I did my homework. I have no pub credits so I don't need to state that, and the whole very cordially yours, is part of my 'voice'. I'm writing Regency, they would expect me to be cordial, don't you think. So there it is. What do you think?

And thank you to everyone who gave comments and critiques at TPQSP. I may not show it, but I used all the information offered to me. And if anyone has any questions about this please feel free to ask, writing a query is really hard, and I had a lot, A LOT of help. So if you need help with yours and I can help you, just ask.


Falen said...

Oh this is soo so much better! Bravo!

This ending line - "William realizes his desire for Penny is more than just a passing fancy and is determined to marry her, but first he must find the blackguard who threatens her."
i really liked. Sets up the final conflict.


Nicole Ducleroir said...

I think your query letter sounds professional yet interesting, and meets its objectives all in a charismatic voice. Bravo!

I'm sitting here thinking how wonderful it will be to say I have a completed novel. You must be on top of the world. Congrats!!

sarahjayne smythe said...

I think the fact that you did your homework is reflected well in your query. It comes across as polished and confident.

Good luck with the process. :)

Dominique said...

Fantastic. It's definitely much better. I like that this time you lead with Penny. It felt like you were leaping into the real meat of the story.

Lady Glamis said...

You know how I feel about this. Great job!

Piedmont Writer said...

Oh you guys, you have made my day!!! Thanks all for the praise and compliments.

I will send it out over the weekend to the various and sundry and see what happens. I will, of course, let you all know the stats on how many sent and how many rejected. We can keep a tally and you can pass me the Kleenex or the chocolate, depending on what I need.

Thanks again, you guys are the best!!!!