Sunday, January 3, 2010

Excerpt

I thought from time to time I'd like to post an excerpt from something that I've written. It seems that other writers are doing it and why should I be any different.
Feel free to comment, edit, find the typo's, criticize, what ever you feel like. I know I've said I write Regency, I also dabble in contemporary romance, and YA mystery.

(Working title) Genna & Tony Contemporary Romance

***** Sorry this post has been removed by the author.

7 comments:

Writing in the Wilderness said...

I really like the last half of this a lot. You pack a lot of detail and emotion into it.

And I'd kinda like to know just why he left and why he's back, so that's a good thing.

I think the only thing I'd suggest as a change is to the line 'Damn, she hated to be stupid.' I think it might flow better as 'Damn, she hated being stupid.'

Piedmont Writer said...

Thanks so much for your comments Wilderness. Just so you know, Genna was the one who left, Tony stayed. Someday I'll post the excerpt why.

And yes, you're right, 'being stupid', is infintely better. Thanks.

Piedmont Writer said...

And I do apologize for calling you Wilderness Sarah. I didn't realize you were she until I read the other post from yesterday.

Writing in the Wilderness said...

Thanks, but don't worry, no problem.

Though I'm not sure why I don't show up as Writing in the Wilderness in your list of followers. I thought that was the way it was supposed to be, but I'm probably mistaken.

Or just very confused.

Lady Glamis said...

Anne, I like your excerpt here! I think you've got some good emotion going in this little scene, and I'm certainly left asking questions. I do worry about the looking in the mirror thing, though. That's done so often to describe how a character looks. However, I think you're making it work here because you're connecting it with her thoughts and emotions. I'm undecided about it so far.

I don't like critiquing things publicly because it makes me feel like it's set in stone, when in reality I'm constantly changing my mind how I feel about things I read.

Anyway, to avoiding anymore critiquing comments, I'll just say I'm intrigued by your character's dilemma. Hehe. Gotta love romance!

Piedmont Writer said...

I wish I could post the whole thing here. I'd love to see what you think about Genna and her trip down memory lane.

And don't worry about critiques...it's all good. And I don't take it as critique, I take it as a "suggestion".

Lady Glamis said...

I like the word suggestion. That sounds so much better. :D