Tuesday, January 26, 2010


Good Morning gentle readers, for those of you who are hungry, and we shall not fight over the danish, there is more than enough, I have set up a buffet in the dining room with coffee and tea, hot chocolate, and a very large table filled with all kinds of food. Please feel free to help yourselves. There's fruit and yogurt, danish, muffins, granola and chocolate cake (please save me a piece.)

Now, to get on to today's post. I was going to be very witty and smart today but something happened last night to really upset me and really, truly, make me cry. You know how the other day I was talking about helping a few people with their queries, well, I was satirized. I don't even know if that's the right word. I was made fun of. Now that's not right either, I was insulted. Well, no, some would say not, but you know what, yes, yes I was. I was only trying to help, I could hear the panic in their query, so I wrote pretty much the whole thing out the way it should really go, with their own words and posted it. I ASSUMED they would take my advice, tweak what I'd given them and run with it. And considering 6 other people AGREED with me, I figured they could figure it out. Well, no, they wrote it, with the exception of one sentence, posted my query verbatim, then signed both our names. Perhaps they meant this as a compliment, perhaps they meant this as a joke. Perhaps it was supposed to be funny. I don't know. All I know is that it wasn't funny, it wasn't a joke, and god damn it, it wasn't a compliment. I was only trying to help, I felt badly that they were going through such turmoil, and re-writing it the way I did was the only way to SHOW, not TELL them what they were doing wrong. And sweet Jesus up in heaven, they had 36 other people trying to give them advice and they JUST DIDN'T GET IT. Query writing is hard. Harder than anything, I thought I was doing them a favor. I guess not. So needless to say, I will not be going there anymore. If you would like help with your query I would be happy to help. Here. On my blog or my private e-mail account. If you know someone else who would like help, I would be happy to help, here, or my private e-mail account. I will no longer do it in public anymore. And you know what, that really sucks because I enjoyed doing it. I thought I was helping. It gave me a sense of paying it forward.
I'm sorry gentle readers, cover your ears, fuck that.

Okay, now that my rant, crying jag, f-bomb is over, as some of you know, I've been working on my line edits and last night I finished them. The ending was pretty tight, funny, I actually wrote it that way, so I just breezed through. I did have to take out one or two sentences about Ellis that made it in. (I'm still not sure what to do about Ellis but that's another post.) I also cut another 2,000 words so I'm down to 95,740 and you know what, I think that's where I'm going to stay. When the Small One goes to school today I'm going to look at the chapter placements and re-do those. Then I'm definitely going to start with the queries. I 've been holding off to get the line edits done, but hey, while I wait for the answers, I can tweak as I go, you know. Who the hell is going to want a full the same day they get it right??? IT's good but it's not all that. Okay, maybe it is. hahhahahahahahah

I was also thinking of the questions for the agent if I should be offered representation. You know, do you charge for hard copies or is everything done by e-mail now. If I get a two-book deal, can I ask for a higher advance and lower royalties on the first one, and a higher royalty, less advance on the second? Is a publicity tour REALLY neccesary with a first book or should I wait until I have two or three under my belt. This is what keeps me up at night.

And I guess now that this book is CONSUMING me like a dog from Coney Island, I guess I must actually have a job. I remember laying awake on Sunday nights wondering if there would be enough milk for Monday's order when I worked at the restaurant and getting up at 5am on Mon. morning to place an order. Monday was my day off. So yes, I guess I DO have a job. I am a writer.

And so, gentle readers, are you consumed by your writing? That is the question of the day.


Teebore said...

Are you consumed by your writing?

No, not enough, honestly. I'm ALWAYS thinking about it, carrying it around with me, but I'm not DOING it enough.

This is what keeps me up at night.

Those are good questions. I'm so focused on the "polish the book, polish the query, get an agent" step that I haven't thought much about the next step. This whole "getting a book published" thing is full of questions. It's like a video game: you pass one level, then it's on to the next level, with its new traps and trip-ups.

Piedmont Writer said...

I hear you on the video games. It does, doesn't it, seem like that. The question is, when do you win, when you get an agent, a contract, or when the book hits stores?

And thanks for joining my rowdy little group here. Be careful at the buffet though, the danish goes fast.

Falen said...

nah i don't usually get consumed. Except for on those rare days where i'm really trying to finish something and i'm just so close. Then maybe...

For the whole query mess, don't let it bother you. Even if she were to submit your query as something she wrote, it won't work. The agents use the Query to get a feel for the author's voice, so not writing her own Query will only hurt her.

Lady Glamis said...

I get consumed by my writing, yes. I'm a bit consumed at the moment, actually. A little suffocating! Not even room for a heavy sigh.

I'm sorry you were treated that way. I know I wouldn't like my query rewritten for me, but I would never, ever insult the person who was just trying to help! Maybe they just didn't understand what you were trying to do. Still, I'm sorry that happened. :(


I'll definitely have you help me with mine whenever I write one.

Piedmont Writer said...

Thanks Sarah, I'm over it. I'm one of those who has to blow up, scream, get it all out before I can be rational again. I'm calm now.

Piedmont Writer said...

Thanks Glam -- no worries. The thing was, I didn't re-write it, I just took her own words, sentences and phrases and re-arranged them so they made sense and it was not so higgly-piggly.

I did the same thing for DL and he was thrilled. So I guess one person's blessing is another person's bane.

I'd be glad to help you but I doubt you'll need much help. You're such a fantastic writer you'll be able to whip yours out in 10 minutes I'll bet.

Nicole Ducleroir said...

I want to be consumed by my writing. I'm dragging my feet about getting back in the full swing of my novel. I'm playing with voices and writing non-novel stuff to stay in my daily writing groove. But I need to put all that aside, roll up my sleeves, and get busy actually writing. What am I afraid of? (Wow -- that line just got typed by itself...maybe my muse asked the question...)

The query situation is so unfortunate. I critique short stories and poems on Writing.com, and I know how hurtful it is to feel rebuffed by a fellow writer. I agree with Falen, in the end their actions are going to bite 'em in the @$$ :))

Piedmont Writer said...

Hey Nicole, I just wanted to say I went over to that sight Writing.com and read some of the shorts you wrote-- hey man, I loved the one with the Ice. That was a trip! Really good stuff. That one and the animals at Christmas, that was so sweet it made me cry, like a Hallmark commercial.

You should roll up your sleeves and get down and dirty like the rest of us. You've got a great voice, it needs to be heard. Don't wait until you're old like me.

Simon C. Larter said...

It's just too easy for people online to take things the wrong way and do silly things. It's best not to take it personally, good lady (hard, I know). But congratulations on your progress! Best of luck with the querying process. :)

sarahjayne smythe said...

Consumed would be a good word, crushed might be better.

At this point in time I'm feeling particularly pressured to not just simply get the words out, but to get them out right. And as I'm trying to juggle more than one thing needing attention, I'm beginning to feel more than a little paralyzed.

And with everything else going on right now, this is not a good time of the year to be feeling this way. I want it to not be so very hard.

Enough of that, though. I'm really very sorry you were made to feel so badly. That's not something I'd wish on anyone. It's really a terible thing.

I'm glad though that you have been able to put it into perspective and move on.

Piedmont Writer said...

Simon -- thanks man. Sometimes I hate the non-verbal communication thing. It would be so much easier if we were at my kitchen table you know. But hey, I'm over it.

Sarah -- you have to remember nothing comes out right the first time. That's why they're called drafts. And I hear you on the juggling thing. I don't know what I'm going to do when I get famous and have to push out 2 books with 3 other revisions and line edits and all that other crap. LOLOLOL Don't sweat the small stuff, pick your battles, and remember, we are all in this together. You need some help, an ear, a sounding board, you know where to find me.

Dominique said...

Sorry about the situation with the query. If you could find the person, I'd suggest kicking them in the shins, but since that probably won't be possible, I offer you a mental hug.

Good luck with your chapter reorganization. :)

I'm not consumed with my writing at the moment. I wish I were. It would probably be more fun than the stuff that's about to consume me: scheduling the weirdness that is my life.

Piedmont Writer said...

Dominique -- thanks but I've ranted, I've raved and I kicked the dog. I apologized to the dog.

Hey don't we all have weird lives, we're writers ain't we???? lol.