Good Morning gentle readers, for those of you who are hungry, and we shall not fight over the danish, there is more than enough, I have set up a buffet in the dining room with coffee and tea, hot chocolate, and a very large table filled with all kinds of food. Please feel free to help yourselves. There's fruit and yogurt, danish, muffins, granola and chocolate cake (please save me a piece.)
Now, to get on to today's post. I was going to be very witty and smart today but something happened last night to really upset me and really, truly, make me cry. You know how the other day I was talking about helping a few people with their queries, well, I was satirized. I don't even know if that's the right word. I was made fun of. Now that's not right either, I was insulted. Well, no, some would say not, but you know what, yes, yes I was. I was only trying to help, I could hear the panic in their query, so I wrote pretty much the whole thing out the way it should really go, with their own words and posted it. I ASSUMED they would take my advice, tweak what I'd given them and run with it. And considering 6 other people AGREED with me, I figured they could figure it out. Well, no, they wrote it, with the exception of one sentence, posted my query verbatim, then signed both our names. Perhaps they meant this as a compliment, perhaps they meant this as a joke. Perhaps it was supposed to be funny. I don't know. All I know is that it wasn't funny, it wasn't a joke, and god damn it, it wasn't a compliment. I was only trying to help, I felt badly that they were going through such turmoil, and re-writing it the way I did was the only way to SHOW, not TELL them what they were doing wrong. And sweet Jesus up in heaven, they had 36 other people trying to give them advice and they JUST DIDN'T GET IT. Query writing is hard. Harder than anything, I thought I was doing them a favor. I guess not. So needless to say, I will not be going there anymore. If you would like help with your query I would be happy to help. Here. On my blog or my private e-mail account. If you know someone else who would like help, I would be happy to help, here, or my private e-mail account. I will no longer do it in public anymore. And you know what, that really sucks because I enjoyed doing it. I thought I was helping. It gave me a sense of paying it forward.
I'm sorry gentle readers, cover your ears, fuck that.
Okay, now that my rant, crying jag, f-bomb is over, as some of you know, I've been working on my line edits and last night I finished them. The ending was pretty tight, funny, I actually wrote it that way, so I just breezed through. I did have to take out one or two sentences about Ellis that made it in. (I'm still not sure what to do about Ellis but that's another post.) I also cut another 2,000 words so I'm down to 95,740 and you know what, I think that's where I'm going to stay. When the Small One goes to school today I'm going to look at the chapter placements and re-do those. Then I'm definitely going to start with the queries. I 've been holding off to get the line edits done, but hey, while I wait for the answers, I can tweak as I go, you know. Who the hell is going to want a full the same day they get it right??? IT's good but it's not all that. Okay, maybe it is. hahhahahahahahah
I was also thinking of the questions for the agent if I should be offered representation. You know, do you charge for hard copies or is everything done by e-mail now. If I get a two-book deal, can I ask for a higher advance and lower royalties on the first one, and a higher royalty, less advance on the second? Is a publicity tour REALLY neccesary with a first book or should I wait until I have two or three under my belt. This is what keeps me up at night.
And I guess now that this book is CONSUMING me like a dog from Coney Island, I guess I must actually have a job. I remember laying awake on Sunday nights wondering if there would be enough milk for Monday's order when I worked at the restaurant and getting up at 5am on Mon. morning to place an order. Monday was my day off. So yes, I guess I DO have a job. I am a writer.
And so, gentle readers, are you consumed by your writing? That is the question of the day.