Thursday, March 11, 2010

Something-Something

This is the last thing I wrote before I went on hiatus. This is why I went crazy and decided I wanted to try something a little more literary than just a straight up romance. This is why I can't seem to get my head on straight and am just lazing around doing nothing these last 2 weeks (well, except for blogging which I swore I wasn't going to do.)

Disclaimer -- Rated R for mature -- strong language and adult themes.

***** Sorry, for those of you who hadn't read it yet, I took it down. Several reasons why and I do apologize. Perhaps you'll read it in its next form.

14 comments:

Tara said...

This is a great scene to work with. Love the chemistry between the cousins. The last line? Awesome!

Susan Fields said...

Sounds like a great story! Excellent writing and dialogue. I'd definitely keep reading.

She Writes said...

I like it! Like the themes running through. There are a lot of places this could go.

Piedmont Writer said...

Thanks for the feedback. It'a a first draft although I think it came out pretty good.

Tara -- I wasn't sure about the last line. I guess it'll stay in then.

Susan -- When I get some more done, I'll post it.

Amy -- I think that's the problem, I know where I want it to go, I'm just not sure if it'll get there or not.

E. Elle said...

I don't think you should have stopped! This is really good. Your descriptions are strong and the dialogue is really natural and believable. Plus, I love reading about Italians because I'm Italian! (Well, part Italian, anyway.)

I hope you return to it soon. I'd hate to see such an impressive scene fall to the wayside. :o)

Piedmont Writer said...

E. Elle -- This is part of a larger story that was supposed to be a straight up romance, it still might be but I may transform it into women's fiction. And I'm glad you like the Italians, I'm part Italian too. The only problem you can't see their hands when they talk.

Lola Sharp said...

I can see this being a great story about family, and life...woman's fiction for sure. There are so many places for this to explore.
Don't stop Anne!

Piedmont Writer said...

Lola -- Thanks. I don't think I plan on stopping, I just have to regroup where I want it to go. Or where "they" want it to go. You know characters, they always want their own way.

Shelley Sly said...

This is great! I hung onto your every word. Favorite line: "Angie’s tears began anew and Genna watched her perfect Barbie doll cousin turn into a real flesh and blood woman."

Plus, I'm 50% Italian, so I can hear the voice loud and clear. Love this. Take your time and figure out what you want to do with it, if anything. But I'm with the others -- I'd love to see it turn into something bigger.

Piedmont Writer said...

Shelley -- great minds think alike, that was my favorite line too. I'm glad I got the "Italian" down. I was kind of worried it wouldn't come across on paper (screen). It's going somewhere, I'm just not sure where yet.

sarahjayne smythe said...

I like this a lot. Great dialogue and description and the confrontation between the cousins sizzles. It's a strong scene and I think it makes great women's fic material.

Piedmont Writer said...

Thank you Sarah Jayne. I wasn't sure if it was too strong. There's a lot of shit going on and we haven't even gotten to the dead Debbie yet.

Lady Glamis said...

You took it down!!!!!!! I had it all marked to read. :(

Can you send it to me???

Y.F.N. Palindrome aka Hannah said...

OH! I missed this!! What happened?