I've been having a conversation with a friend, I should clarify this, a writing friend, I've been having trouble with what to do next.
A) I wrote an historical romance. complete at 107,648. Reading a few posts on my writing group page, I've begun to think (and have for some time) that it needs more revision. I sent it out for query and received only rejections. Form to boot. I read it so much and revised it so much, I'm sick of it. I really don't even want to look at it again.
B) I started a project for NaNo, I've only got 6400. It's a pretty good story, I think anyway, written in first person POV, which I've never done, YA, which I've also never done. I have everything I need to pretty much finish it, outline, synopsis, half a query. I'm not sure I want to invest my truly precious time in writing something that really never has a shot at publication. The romance might. I mean, hey everyone loves a good romance right?
C) I have something that I've been dying to get on paper for the last 5 years. Yeah, I know. I've written blurbs, I've tried different points of view, I've written a few chapter outlines. I have the beginning, I have the middle, I have the end. I have a woman's story. Hope, redemption, stupidity, love, hate, more hope. The problem is, I think, honestly, it would make a fantastic movie. I want to write it like a movie but not a screenplay. Does that make sense? And I have no idea how. I just don't know where to start. At the beginning of course, but I don't know what would have the bigger impact, first second or third POV because it would work with any. There are only 2 MC, mother & daughter, a few perifery(sp.) characters, and a lot of introspection. It's a fictional memoir of sorts, or it could be, the way I want to write it. I just can't begin. Herein lies the problem. My friend says I should just write it. If not now, when? Yes, I agree. But I don't know how.
So, what do I do? Rework the romance, finish the YA or start the memoir? I'm all into instant gratification. I need something to be published. I need something to have a shot at being published otherwise, this whole writing thing is going to make me quit writing. (I take things way too seriously and I know it, everyone says I'm way too sensitive. I prepared for the rejections, I knew they would happen, I just didn't think they would. Hope, it's a killer.)
I also have to say truthfully, I'm in this for the money. Sure I love to write, but I'd damn sure love it more if I could get paid to do it. My daughter is the major factor here. I need to work from home. Problem is I have looked into all the crap you can do from home, and I can't do any of them. I live in a one horse town. Literally. Writing is something I love, and Marsha Sinetar wrote the book "Do what you love the money will follow." I've always thought that anyway. As soon as it stops being fun I quit. That's why I left the big fancy chef job I was making fantastic money at with full bennies. It stopped being fun. I don't regret it.
I'd regret not writing though, if I gave it up. And that's how I'm feeling these days, I'm ready to give it up.