You can read the entire context of my queries and the feedback at The Public Query Slushpile. (Under the heading Women's Fiction is the easiest way to find it.) Thanks again to Rick Daley and the amazing amount of work he does.
Here we go.
If Genna had thought going home would be hell, she would have brought along her hand basket.
Returning home to Bristol, Rhode Island for the annual Fourth of July parade for the first time in ten years, Genna is more than excited to share the great news about her fantastic promotion as executive kitchen manager at a swanky country club in Delaware. However, she isn’t home five minutes before trouble starts when she runs into her ex-fiancé. Although everyone says he’s no good, Genna can’t see through her memories clearly enough to discern if they’re right.
Genna’s problems escalate as she discovers her aunt may have Alzheimer’s and no one in the family wants to deal with it. Angie is hysterical over a bad pap smear and a broken marriage. Robby completely shuts down when he finds out his plaid and pearl wearing girlfriend is pregnant. To put the icing on the cake, her beloved uncle has a heart attack.
Genna finds keeping her uncle’s diner open during the busiest time of the year is more than just hard work, it is in her blood and she questions if she should give up her new job in Delaware to stay in Bristol. And when little Petie DiCampo appears, all grown up and looking like a calendar boy, she wonders if he could be the man to finally break down the walls she’s built around herself since the night her parents were killed by a drunk driver when she was a kid.
In twenty-one days, Genna figures out all the answers to her family’s problems before she heads back to Delaware. She also decides living without love is not in her future, the problem is, which man will she choose?
The Hook - Again with the hand basket line which I really really liked, however, as one person pointed out to me, even though it might be a great hook, it doesn't make any sense as you don't carry a hand basket to hell, you're already in the hand basket. As in, "I'm going to hell in a hand basket." And what did we learn about cliches?
Paragraph Two -- Details, details details. This is the feedback the last query brought so here I decided to show some of the details. Why she was going home, where she was going, what happens when she gets there. Although this is quite possibly too many details. To me, now as I read it, it seems a little stiff. Notice I got rid of the cliches and romance roots here.
Paragraph Three -- Who are all these people? Why do we care about them? Do we really need to know ALL the events of the story. No, No, and NO. This is all extraneous. Especially their names. Distracting.
Paragraph Four -- This is the meat of the story right here -- when Genna keeps the diner open and she realized maybe her dream job isn't all that. She QUESTIONS what's more important. This is her conflict. And as for Pete, another name to add to the growing pile of confusion. And now I've also thrown in the part about her parents which was never in any of the other queries. Sure it's important but it's not what's driving the story. (Well, it is but only in a minimalist kind of way.)
Final Paragraph -- I've ended the query with one decision made for Genna but then turn around and ask a question. And what did we learn about asking questions at the end of a query? In the words of Mater -- "To not to."
Any Questions? Hope you'll come back for the final installment tomorrow where we can discuss how I trimmed the fat and hopefully will have the query to entice an agent.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Query Number Two
Thanks again to Rick over at The Public Query Slushpile.
Okay, here we go.
If Genna thought returning home after a long absence would be hell, she would have brought along her hand-basket. Wanting to celebrate the good news about her fabulous job offer, Genna realizes it’s time to relinquish her past demons and go home.
Not even there five minutes, it comes back to haunt her in the form of her ex-fiancé and her unresolved feelings for him. What he did a decade ago still twists her heart and when he asks for forgiveness, Genna decides to let the past go and move on. However, when Genna’s cousin reveals long buried secrets about her ex- Genna wonders if she made a mistake. “People don’t change” Angie says, but Genna has seen it happen in more than one person since returning. Including herself.
Unexpectedly, she discovers a promising new love in the arms of a man she once despised. Her family is pushing her into this new relationship but as she wrestles with her feelings, she makes the unbelievable mistake of sleeping with her ex-. Keeping the two men from finding out about each other proves to be impossible as they both show up for a date on the same night.
Moreover, her new promotion grows cold as she faces a family member’s health crisis no one saw coming. She wonders if she should skip the advancement and remain where she never wanted to leave or go and live the life she always thought she wanted. Genna, torn between two worlds, her decision to remain is the only one possible. However, which love will capture her heart, old or new?
My hook; see, now here, I thought I was being clever with the hell in a handbasket line but it didn't work out that way. Everyone said it just didn't work - AT ALL. And besides it's a cliche. And what did we learn about cliches?
Second paragraph -- still going back to the romance roots. "haunt her" "twists her heart" "long buried secrets".
And here, I've taken a quote from her cousin Angie, which is relevant to the story, but the agent will ask, who the hell is Angie and why is she in this query? It doesn't make sense.
I thought the third paragraph was pretty good, pitting the two men against each other and then the little teaser "as they both show up for the same date". I thought it was slightly amusing but it didn't really fly after I finished writing so much of the book.
The last paragraph -- I like the wording in this but as I continued to write the book and Genna's atitude and that of her family changed about her future, it didn't work as well as I liked. And never NEVER EVER end a query with a question that doesn't have the answer. An agent wants to know what happens and if the query isn't strong enough to begin with, ending with a question won't make her want to request pages.
Any questions? Hope you'll stop by tomorrow for Query Number Three.
Okay, here we go.
If Genna thought returning home after a long absence would be hell, she would have brought along her hand-basket. Wanting to celebrate the good news about her fabulous job offer, Genna realizes it’s time to relinquish her past demons and go home.
Not even there five minutes, it comes back to haunt her in the form of her ex-fiancé and her unresolved feelings for him. What he did a decade ago still twists her heart and when he asks for forgiveness, Genna decides to let the past go and move on. However, when Genna’s cousin reveals long buried secrets about her ex- Genna wonders if she made a mistake. “People don’t change” Angie says, but Genna has seen it happen in more than one person since returning. Including herself.
Unexpectedly, she discovers a promising new love in the arms of a man she once despised. Her family is pushing her into this new relationship but as she wrestles with her feelings, she makes the unbelievable mistake of sleeping with her ex-. Keeping the two men from finding out about each other proves to be impossible as they both show up for a date on the same night.
Moreover, her new promotion grows cold as she faces a family member’s health crisis no one saw coming. She wonders if she should skip the advancement and remain where she never wanted to leave or go and live the life she always thought she wanted. Genna, torn between two worlds, her decision to remain is the only one possible. However, which love will capture her heart, old or new?
My hook; see, now here, I thought I was being clever with the hell in a handbasket line but it didn't work out that way. Everyone said it just didn't work - AT ALL. And besides it's a cliche. And what did we learn about cliches?
Second paragraph -- still going back to the romance roots. "haunt her" "twists her heart" "long buried secrets".
And here, I've taken a quote from her cousin Angie, which is relevant to the story, but the agent will ask, who the hell is Angie and why is she in this query? It doesn't make sense.
I thought the third paragraph was pretty good, pitting the two men against each other and then the little teaser "as they both show up for the same date". I thought it was slightly amusing but it didn't really fly after I finished writing so much of the book.
The last paragraph -- I like the wording in this but as I continued to write the book and Genna's atitude and that of her family changed about her future, it didn't work as well as I liked. And never NEVER EVER end a query with a question that doesn't have the answer. An agent wants to know what happens and if the query isn't strong enough to begin with, ending with a question won't make her want to request pages.
Any questions? Hope you'll stop by tomorrow for Query Number Three.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Query Number One
Well, here we go. First I want to say, thank you to Rick Daley and his amazing blog, The Public Query Slushpile. It's where I do all my query try-outs. There is just such amazing feedback there and everyone is so polite and learned. It's a great place so if you're getting ready to write the dreaded query, please go there and try it out. You won't be sorry.
Now, onto my first attempt. As you will see, this query really says nothing.
Ten years is a long time to live in a self-imposed exile and when Genna’s longing for the familiar turn into nightmares about her future, she realizes it’s time to go home.
Once there, the past comes back to haunt her in the form of her ex-fiancé and his dead wife. Genna’s unresolved feelings for him and what he did a decade ago only twist her heart and lead her down a perilous path. He wants her back and Genna wonders if it’s only for her money.
Coming home has also brought her aunt’s Alzheimer’s to light, something the family refuses to face. Her cousin is falling apart under the strain of a too perfect marriage and her best friend is ignoring her. Genna also finds herself encumbered with an inheritance that threatens to destroy her relationship with her uncle.
What’s a girl to do?
Genna needs to makes some tough decisions regarding her future; does she give up the job of a lifetime and come home to work for peanuts or does she go back and live the same lonely life she’s had for the last decade? And will trying to get over her broken heart lead her to find comfort in the arms of a man she once despised? With the help of the only person who has ever put her first, Genna makes the decisions that will change her life forever.
Ambiguous was the resounding response I'd gotten from the Slushpile on this. I was trying to fit in ALL the components that make up Genna's story without "telling" anything about her. You have to "tell" not "show" in a query.
The first sentence, my hook, I thought was pretty good. The second paragraph, although it tells part of the story, my flair for the dramatic was overdone. "Haunt her" "twist her heart" "perilous path". Yeah, reads more like a romance which is what my last book was. Sometimes it's hard to let go of what you've learned.
Third paragraph is about everyone else, and though this is important, as it does pertain to Genna, it's not tight enough. Too much information.
The question -- "What's a girl to do?" not right. It doesn't make any sense. The agent doesn't want to ask the question, she wants the answer.
And the ending paragraph -- ugh, too many questions. Don't ask questions, give the answers. Tell us what Genna will do. And too many cliches. "work for peanuts" "broken heart" "find comfort in the arms of a man" "change her life forever" This screams ROMANCE NOVEL.
Like I said, sometimes it's hard to change formats in your brain.
I wanted to showcase the women's fiction aspect of this book but it's just way overblown and swinging back toward my romance roots. I needed to scale back, cut out the cliches and questions and just tell the story.
Any questions? I hope you'll come back tomorrow for Query Number Two.
Now, onto my first attempt. As you will see, this query really says nothing.
Ten years is a long time to live in a self-imposed exile and when Genna’s longing for the familiar turn into nightmares about her future, she realizes it’s time to go home.
Once there, the past comes back to haunt her in the form of her ex-fiancé and his dead wife. Genna’s unresolved feelings for him and what he did a decade ago only twist her heart and lead her down a perilous path. He wants her back and Genna wonders if it’s only for her money.
Coming home has also brought her aunt’s Alzheimer’s to light, something the family refuses to face. Her cousin is falling apart under the strain of a too perfect marriage and her best friend is ignoring her. Genna also finds herself encumbered with an inheritance that threatens to destroy her relationship with her uncle.
What’s a girl to do?
Genna needs to makes some tough decisions regarding her future; does she give up the job of a lifetime and come home to work for peanuts or does she go back and live the same lonely life she’s had for the last decade? And will trying to get over her broken heart lead her to find comfort in the arms of a man she once despised? With the help of the only person who has ever put her first, Genna makes the decisions that will change her life forever.
Ambiguous was the resounding response I'd gotten from the Slushpile on this. I was trying to fit in ALL the components that make up Genna's story without "telling" anything about her. You have to "tell" not "show" in a query.
The first sentence, my hook, I thought was pretty good. The second paragraph, although it tells part of the story, my flair for the dramatic was overdone. "Haunt her" "twist her heart" "perilous path". Yeah, reads more like a romance which is what my last book was. Sometimes it's hard to let go of what you've learned.
Third paragraph is about everyone else, and though this is important, as it does pertain to Genna, it's not tight enough. Too much information.
The question -- "What's a girl to do?" not right. It doesn't make any sense. The agent doesn't want to ask the question, she wants the answer.
And the ending paragraph -- ugh, too many questions. Don't ask questions, give the answers. Tell us what Genna will do. And too many cliches. "work for peanuts" "broken heart" "find comfort in the arms of a man" "change her life forever" This screams ROMANCE NOVEL.
Like I said, sometimes it's hard to change formats in your brain.
I wanted to showcase the women's fiction aspect of this book but it's just way overblown and swinging back toward my romance roots. I needed to scale back, cut out the cliches and questions and just tell the story.
Any questions? I hope you'll come back tomorrow for Query Number Two.
Monday, September 27, 2010
It's Query Week
Good Monday morning everyone. I hope your weekends went well. And as for the adage, "Be careful what you wish for..." As I was complaining on Friday about the blasted heat, a low pressure system moved in Saturday night and now it's rainy and c-c-cold.
And no, I'm not finished with the ms. yet, but well on my way. 89K and counting. Yes, I'm over my orginal word count but I did some editing Saturday night on the first act and already I've killed off several cheap scenes. I haven't yet figured out how much of the word count I'm missing. I'm hoping when all is said and done, I'll end up back at my orginal 87k.
Any-hoo, what I've decided to do this week was post the various forms of my query for REMEMBERING YOU. Kind of like before, middle and after. I thought it might help some of you see what kind of process I go through and maybe help you along the way.
There are four main things you need for a really great query;
Hook -- This is the first sentence of the query which summarizes what the book is about. Sometimes called a logline or an 'elevator pitch'.
Conflict -- This is what the protagonist (main character/s) must go through to reach the goal. I like to use both internal and external conflicts in my queries.
Motivation -- This is what drives the main character to the goal.
Goal -- And this is what the main character gets.
Now I'm not going to dive too deeply into why I did what I did, changed what I wrote, my thought processes on each and every version -- sometimes too much information can overload the system so I've noted what I thought was important and what wasn't.
I hope you'll stop by.
And no, I'm not finished with the ms. yet, but well on my way. 89K and counting. Yes, I'm over my orginal word count but I did some editing Saturday night on the first act and already I've killed off several cheap scenes. I haven't yet figured out how much of the word count I'm missing. I'm hoping when all is said and done, I'll end up back at my orginal 87k.
Any-hoo, what I've decided to do this week was post the various forms of my query for REMEMBERING YOU. Kind of like before, middle and after. I thought it might help some of you see what kind of process I go through and maybe help you along the way.
There are four main things you need for a really great query;
Hook -- This is the first sentence of the query which summarizes what the book is about. Sometimes called a logline or an 'elevator pitch'.
Conflict -- This is what the protagonist (main character/s) must go through to reach the goal. I like to use both internal and external conflicts in my queries.
Motivation -- This is what drives the main character to the goal.
Goal -- And this is what the main character gets.
Now I'm not going to dive too deeply into why I did what I did, changed what I wrote, my thought processes on each and every version -- sometimes too much information can overload the system so I've noted what I thought was important and what wasn't.
I hope you'll stop by.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
It's Query Week in the Piedmont
I wanted to let you know I've just finished writing my posts for this week. It's all about my query process, how I wrote it, re-wrote it, tweaked it, and I think, finally nailed it.
I hope you'll stop by, I've got the whole week mapped out so you won't have to wait in between days for the next installment.
And this is by no means a comprehensive guide but perhaps a template for you to use when you get into the trenches yourselves. There are many ways to write a query, I'm just going to show you what I did and hopefully, you'll be able to grab the gist.
Write on! See you tomorrow.
I hope you'll stop by, I've got the whole week mapped out so you won't have to wait in between days for the next installment.
And this is by no means a comprehensive guide but perhaps a template for you to use when you get into the trenches yourselves. There are many ways to write a query, I'm just going to show you what I did and hopefully, you'll be able to grab the gist.
Write on! See you tomorrow.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Friday's at the Piedmont Grille
What's on the menu -- Grilled cheese sandwiches.
Because that's how I feel. Hot and melty. It's still 90 degrees here in Carolina and I am sick of it. Doesn't this place know the first day of fall was two days ago. Doesn't the Piedmont realize even though leaves are falling from my trees in the backyard (at an alarming rate) it's supposed to be sweater weather! Ugh!
First, let me apologize for not getting to any of your amazing entries for any of the blogfests today. I am hard at work still trying to finish up REMEMBERING YOU. I will try very hard to drop by over the weekend.
And no, I am still not done. Genna and Pete had a fight this morning which threw me for a loop. I knew things weren't going to go well but now, well, it seems Pete has shared a little more of his past than I ever knew, or imagined and Genna, although trying to be kind, is actually being kind of a bitch. However I have succeeded in 2362 more words.
I have to do errands this afternoon so will not be able to get to it again until possibly tomorrow morning while Monster Baby still sleeps. Then again, I may just sleep in tomorrow as well. This getting up at 5:30 because I have to is for the birds. I could do it when it was because I wanted to, but now forced, it does not bode well.
Please have a magical weekend and I will hopefully be able to say I'm finished on Monday. Next week I'll share my query, and we can poke holes in it. Write on!
Because that's how I feel. Hot and melty. It's still 90 degrees here in Carolina and I am sick of it. Doesn't this place know the first day of fall was two days ago. Doesn't the Piedmont realize even though leaves are falling from my trees in the backyard (at an alarming rate) it's supposed to be sweater weather! Ugh!
First, let me apologize for not getting to any of your amazing entries for any of the blogfests today. I am hard at work still trying to finish up REMEMBERING YOU. I will try very hard to drop by over the weekend.
And no, I am still not done. Genna and Pete had a fight this morning which threw me for a loop. I knew things weren't going to go well but now, well, it seems Pete has shared a little more of his past than I ever knew, or imagined and Genna, although trying to be kind, is actually being kind of a bitch. However I have succeeded in 2362 more words.
I have to do errands this afternoon so will not be able to get to it again until possibly tomorrow morning while Monster Baby still sleeps. Then again, I may just sleep in tomorrow as well. This getting up at 5:30 because I have to is for the birds. I could do it when it was because I wanted to, but now forced, it does not bode well.
Please have a magical weekend and I will hopefully be able to say I'm finished on Monday. Next week I'll share my query, and we can poke holes in it. Write on!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Quick Update
Sorry to barge in on all your lovely Wednesday goings on but I just had to share.
No, I'm not done, but I did just finish rewriting the ending, actually the final act. You see, I wrote the ending about a month ago and it was good. But then, I had a vision the other night about how it could be so much more. I let it stew for a couple days and then when I got home from my morning walk this morning, it all came out in a big fantastic bubbling rush.
So my ending is in place and if I do say so myself, it's bloody brilliant. Just what I wanted it to be.
I still have probably more than five but less than 10 scenes to write in act four. (I'm writing a five act) Hopefully tomorrow I'll be closer but I won't be finished for Friday, unless I get some fabulous alone time. Yeah, that's not going to happen.
I also had a clue as to why I'm seemingly unable to finish writing this story. Because as stupid as this sounds, I don't want to say good-bye to them. I've fallen in love with all my characters and their lives and if I finish writing it, well, then I have to say good-bye and I don't want to. Is that weird?
Everyone who knows me in real life says I'm too sentimental and I've never denied it but - here's a question -- When you're done with your book, do you feel SAD when you finally write THE END? - or are you just relieved?
No, I'm not done, but I did just finish rewriting the ending, actually the final act. You see, I wrote the ending about a month ago and it was good. But then, I had a vision the other night about how it could be so much more. I let it stew for a couple days and then when I got home from my morning walk this morning, it all came out in a big fantastic bubbling rush.
So my ending is in place and if I do say so myself, it's bloody brilliant. Just what I wanted it to be.
I still have probably more than five but less than 10 scenes to write in act four. (I'm writing a five act) Hopefully tomorrow I'll be closer but I won't be finished for Friday, unless I get some fabulous alone time. Yeah, that's not going to happen.
I also had a clue as to why I'm seemingly unable to finish writing this story. Because as stupid as this sounds, I don't want to say good-bye to them. I've fallen in love with all my characters and their lives and if I finish writing it, well, then I have to say good-bye and I don't want to. Is that weird?
Everyone who knows me in real life says I'm too sentimental and I've never denied it but - here's a question -- When you're done with your book, do you feel SAD when you finally write THE END? - or are you just relieved?
Monday, September 20, 2010
ARGH!!!
Good Monday morning everyone. I just thought I should tell you that my best laid plans went awry, then completely ran amok.
Monster Baby has been fighting something for the last week and on Friday finally got real sick and well, you know how that goes. And of course she only showed symptoms AFTER the doctor's office closed...
Nevertheless, I did get a chance to work on the ms. but found, to my detriment I had to pull two scenes. They just weren't working. (Fill in expletives here.) In between changing the movie selections, finding the missing stegosaurus and providing sustenance and fluids for the Monster Baby, I wrote 3000 more words. (Which if I hadn't had to pull those scenes, my word count would be so much more. More expletives here.) So the sidebar count is 83,090. We are at the rehearsal dinner, tomorrow is the wedding and then the sad good-bye for Genna. And then I will be done. Please, Dear God Almighty in Heaven, let me be done with the first draft.
I also worked on my query (which has been in revisions for weeks) and with Rick's help have finally nailed it. I'll try and post it soon for your comments.
Real life is stepping in as well this week, a LOT (more expletives) so I have no idea when I'll be able to get back to it but by all that's holy, I'm going to try my very best to be able to post on Friday at the Grille I am finished. Truthfully, I'm sick of talking about it. (Yeah, I know, so just shut up about it already.) I just want it to be over. And I promise, pretty soon it will be.
And I swear to you right now, I will not mention one word about my synopsis struggles.
So I'll see you when I see you. Write on everyone!!!
Monster Baby has been fighting something for the last week and on Friday finally got real sick and well, you know how that goes. And of course she only showed symptoms AFTER the doctor's office closed...
Nevertheless, I did get a chance to work on the ms. but found, to my detriment I had to pull two scenes. They just weren't working. (Fill in expletives here.) In between changing the movie selections, finding the missing stegosaurus and providing sustenance and fluids for the Monster Baby, I wrote 3000 more words. (Which if I hadn't had to pull those scenes, my word count would be so much more. More expletives here.) So the sidebar count is 83,090. We are at the rehearsal dinner, tomorrow is the wedding and then the sad good-bye for Genna. And then I will be done. Please, Dear God Almighty in Heaven, let me be done with the first draft.
I also worked on my query (which has been in revisions for weeks) and with Rick's help have finally nailed it. I'll try and post it soon for your comments.
Real life is stepping in as well this week, a LOT (more expletives) so I have no idea when I'll be able to get back to it but by all that's holy, I'm going to try my very best to be able to post on Friday at the Grille I am finished. Truthfully, I'm sick of talking about it. (Yeah, I know, so just shut up about it already.) I just want it to be over. And I promise, pretty soon it will be.
And I swear to you right now, I will not mention one word about my synopsis struggles.
So I'll see you when I see you. Write on everyone!!!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Friday's at the Piedmont Grille
On the menu today -- Hasty Pudding.
With the exception of Wednesday's excerpt post, my posts have been relatively short this week and full of questions. I wanted to see if my new Stat counter would have anything to say about that. It has. I feel like I've gotten a new toy for Christmas. Who knew that finding out how many people have taken a gander at my blog would make me so happy. Soon, though, the novelty will wear off, just like Barbie's new closet full of clothes I got when I was 11. It will be just another thing to fill me with angst.
Thanks to all of you who stopped by for my final excerpt in the Genna & Tony, now Pete saga. I know I have such a bad potty mouth but please remember, all the excerpts were in first draft form and consequently most of the swearing has either been taken out, or changed to Italian. (I'll tell you what, it is so cool to swear in another language. Even if I'm saying porca vacca which loosely translated means "damn it", but literally translated means, are you ready for this, "pig cow." How cool is that? And I'm not even swearing.)
Congratulations to all the finalists in the Notes From The Underground contest over at The Literary Lab, of which I was one. I am in such illumintating, brilliant company, it takes my breath away. I'm posting my entry on my sidebar, a short story, and I hope some day when you have the time or the inclination, you take a gander at it.
I'm this close > < to finishing REMEMBERING YOU. I now have 82,000 and some words with 5k left to do. Or at least shoot for. Please say a prayer for me I get it done over the weekend. Thanks.
So that's my week. I hope you all had a great one. Get some writing done over the weekend!
With the exception of Wednesday's excerpt post, my posts have been relatively short this week and full of questions. I wanted to see if my new Stat counter would have anything to say about that. It has. I feel like I've gotten a new toy for Christmas. Who knew that finding out how many people have taken a gander at my blog would make me so happy. Soon, though, the novelty will wear off, just like Barbie's new closet full of clothes I got when I was 11. It will be just another thing to fill me with angst.
Thanks to all of you who stopped by for my final excerpt in the Genna & Tony, now Pete saga. I know I have such a bad potty mouth but please remember, all the excerpts were in first draft form and consequently most of the swearing has either been taken out, or changed to Italian. (I'll tell you what, it is so cool to swear in another language. Even if I'm saying porca vacca which loosely translated means "damn it", but literally translated means, are you ready for this, "pig cow." How cool is that? And I'm not even swearing.)
Congratulations to all the finalists in the Notes From The Underground contest over at The Literary Lab, of which I was one. I am in such illumintating, brilliant company, it takes my breath away. I'm posting my entry on my sidebar, a short story, and I hope some day when you have the time or the inclination, you take a gander at it.
I'm this close > < to finishing REMEMBERING YOU. I now have 82,000 and some words with 5k left to do. Or at least shoot for. Please say a prayer for me I get it done over the weekend. Thanks.
So that's my week. I hope you all had a great one. Get some writing done over the weekend!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
On Reading
Before we begin today's post I just have to tell you about the contest Chuck Sambuchino is running on his blog to win not one but three, count 'em three books.
His latest
HOW TO SURVIVE A GARDEN GNOME ATTACK
The must-have
2011 GUIDE TO LITERARY AGENTS
and the fantastic
FORMATTING AND SUBMITTING YOUR MANUSCRIPT
All you have to do is go HERE to put your name in. We all need to be prepared when gnomes attack.
Now, onto my regularly scheduled post.
I read a blog post last weekend that's been sticking in my craw.
How do you read now?
I used to read for pleasure, I'd get so engrossed I could forget about the world around me and often did. I would sit for hours, totally enthralled.
Now, when I try and read for pleasure, I find my inner editor kicking in and I keep putting the book down, something I never, ever did before. I would read straight through the day or night, sometimes both. I'd put off going to the potty, feeding the dogs, taking a shower. Now, I find I can actually do the dishes instead of finishing chapter 10.
How about you? Do any of you do that now? Edit instead of read?
His latest
HOW TO SURVIVE A GARDEN GNOME ATTACK
The must-have
2011 GUIDE TO LITERARY AGENTS
and the fantastic
FORMATTING AND SUBMITTING YOUR MANUSCRIPT
All you have to do is go HERE to put your name in. We all need to be prepared when gnomes attack.
Now, onto my regularly scheduled post.
I read a blog post last weekend that's been sticking in my craw.
How do you read now?
I used to read for pleasure, I'd get so engrossed I could forget about the world around me and often did. I would sit for hours, totally enthralled.
Now, when I try and read for pleasure, I find my inner editor kicking in and I keep putting the book down, something I never, ever did before. I would read straight through the day or night, sometimes both. I'd put off going to the potty, feeding the dogs, taking a shower. Now, I find I can actually do the dishes instead of finishing chapter 10.
How about you? Do any of you do that now? Edit instead of read?
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Final Excerpt from REMEMBERING YOU
Well, my lovelies, this will be the last excerpt I post from REMEMBERING YOU. I know you probably haven't noticed but on my side-bar I have been posting my word count and as of 1:49 pm E.S.T. yesterday, I have 78, 021 words. 10k left to write.
Anyway, on to the post.
A little set-up -- It is now the night of the 4th of July. Genna and Pete have settled into their new romance and tonight is the night for you know what. They are now leaving Billy's Beach Bar with friends.
Rating -- R for strong language, adult content. Let me reiterate, very strong language. And it's not in Italian.
Remember, this will only be posted for two days. And also a first draft.
********
Sorry this excerpt has been removed by the author.
Anyway, on to the post.
A little set-up -- It is now the night of the 4th of July. Genna and Pete have settled into their new romance and tonight is the night for you know what. They are now leaving Billy's Beach Bar with friends.
Rating -- R for strong language, adult content. Let me reiterate, very strong language. And it's not in Italian.
Remember, this will only be posted for two days. And also a first draft.
********
Sorry this excerpt has been removed by the author.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
New Stats
Hey now, have any of you seen the new Stats counter on the Blogger Dashboard. Is that the coolest thing or what? I must have spent about an hour tooling around it last Friday.
Of course I also learned that my readers have dropped significantly since July so... that's an interesting stat.
I also learned I had a visitor from Luxembourg, so, yeah, like, that's way cool.
How about you? What have you learned from your stats?
Of course I also learned that my readers have dropped significantly since July so... that's an interesting stat.
I also learned I had a visitor from Luxembourg, so, yeah, like, that's way cool.
How about you? What have you learned from your stats?
Monday, September 13, 2010
Question
Truthfully I don't know how many of you have read my excerpts or my In Their Own Words character series, but I have a question regardless.
In my book REMEMBERING YOU, I have flavored the dialogue with Italian. Some are curse words (because they sound so cool in Italian AND I didn't want to offend so many readers) and some are regular words like lavastovigli which actually means - dishwasher.
My question -- Do you, as a reader, want a glossary at the end of the book? A dictionary perhaps, to help you interpret the words you don't know or want to know but don't have the time to look up?
Have any of you seen this done before? I know it's been done in non-fiction but what about fiction? Do you think it would help?
In my book REMEMBERING YOU, I have flavored the dialogue with Italian. Some are curse words (because they sound so cool in Italian AND I didn't want to offend so many readers) and some are regular words like lavastovigli which actually means - dishwasher.
My question -- Do you, as a reader, want a glossary at the end of the book? A dictionary perhaps, to help you interpret the words you don't know or want to know but don't have the time to look up?
Have any of you seen this done before? I know it's been done in non-fiction but what about fiction? Do you think it would help?
Friday, September 10, 2010
Friday's at the Piedmont Grille
On the menu today -- Crow with a side order of I told you so.
Well, good morning. Sorry I'm late with this post but Monster Baby is home sick from school today. I knew it wouldn't be long but I was hoping it would be longer than 5 days. Poor kid. I just don't know what to do anymore. We've been to specialists and doctors and we even switched milk, but still, we don't know what her problem is. No one has any answers, least of all me. Rest assured, she'll be fine but I feel bad. Her life has not turned out the way I wanted it to be.
Thanks for stopping by to read my excerpt. I'm sorry I scared so many of you. It wasn't my intention. I know heart attacks are frightening, I just didn't realize so many of you connected on so many different levels.
I don't know if I mentioned it or not, (which I probably have a 1000 times) I clean to get over my slump, snag, writer's block. Last weekend, I went crazy. I moved furniture, washed walls, vacuumed, repotted all my plants, washed curtains and bed spreads...the list goes on. What did it do for me? Gave me a wicked clean house. I also moved past my slump but not enough to really fulfill my fondest wish, which was to finish the damn novel.
I had a scene I wanted to keep but it wasn't working. I didn't want to take it out because it was brilliant (if I do say so myself). I realized my mistake on Wednesday that I can put it right at the very end of the book and that will raise the stakes on the tension I've created between Pete and Genna. Oh the angst!
So, I wrote something else, something that will, hopefully, keep the reader reading until the very end and accomplished something - 3500 more words. Yay me. I'm praying, hoping, wanting to finish this by the end of next week, but we'll see. I think I can do it, if nothing else rocks my crazy world.
Congratulations to VR Barkowski who snagged an agent. And belated Congrats to Roni at Fiction Groupie for snagging her agent. Someday my friends that goal will become realized for all of us. (I have nothing, if not faith.)
Next week will be the last posting of excerpts from my book. I may or may not also share my query with you. I've also tried to come up with another title as I'm not that thrilled with REMEMBERING YOU anymore. It seems kind of schmaltzy to me.
Anyway, have a great weekend. Try and get some writing done.
PS - Is Blogger being a really really bad boy or what? I've tried 3 times to post this.
Well, good morning. Sorry I'm late with this post but Monster Baby is home sick from school today. I knew it wouldn't be long but I was hoping it would be longer than 5 days. Poor kid. I just don't know what to do anymore. We've been to specialists and doctors and we even switched milk, but still, we don't know what her problem is. No one has any answers, least of all me. Rest assured, she'll be fine but I feel bad. Her life has not turned out the way I wanted it to be.
Thanks for stopping by to read my excerpt. I'm sorry I scared so many of you. It wasn't my intention. I know heart attacks are frightening, I just didn't realize so many of you connected on so many different levels.
I don't know if I mentioned it or not, (which I probably have a 1000 times) I clean to get over my slump, snag, writer's block. Last weekend, I went crazy. I moved furniture, washed walls, vacuumed, repotted all my plants, washed curtains and bed spreads...the list goes on. What did it do for me? Gave me a wicked clean house. I also moved past my slump but not enough to really fulfill my fondest wish, which was to finish the damn novel.
I had a scene I wanted to keep but it wasn't working. I didn't want to take it out because it was brilliant (if I do say so myself). I realized my mistake on Wednesday that I can put it right at the very end of the book and that will raise the stakes on the tension I've created between Pete and Genna. Oh the angst!
So, I wrote something else, something that will, hopefully, keep the reader reading until the very end and accomplished something - 3500 more words. Yay me. I'm praying, hoping, wanting to finish this by the end of next week, but we'll see. I think I can do it, if nothing else rocks my crazy world.
Congratulations to VR Barkowski who snagged an agent. And belated Congrats to Roni at Fiction Groupie for snagging her agent. Someday my friends that goal will become realized for all of us. (I have nothing, if not faith.)
Next week will be the last posting of excerpts from my book. I may or may not also share my query with you. I've also tried to come up with another title as I'm not that thrilled with REMEMBERING YOU anymore. It seems kind of schmaltzy to me.
Anyway, have a great weekend. Try and get some writing done.
PS - Is Blogger being a really really bad boy or what? I've tried 3 times to post this.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Something - Something
I know it's been awhile since I've posted an excerpt so I'll give you a little background. Genna and Pete had their first date and Genna didn't think he liked her. Remember in my character sketches Angie said Genna was analyzing Pete's kisses and Genna said Pete gave her flowers. This scene is two days before the flowers. Genna and Angie have been cooking for the 4th of July party at Angie's house where Genna has a heart to heart with Angie about Pete and Tony.
Although the character sketches will remain up on the blog, this excerpt will be taken down after two days. Remember it's a first draft.
Rating -- PG 17 (Is there such a rating?)
**************
Sorry this excerpt has been taken down by the author.
Although the character sketches will remain up on the blog, this excerpt will be taken down after two days. Remember it's a first draft.
Rating -- PG 17 (Is there such a rating?)
**************
Sorry this excerpt has been taken down by the author.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
On Commenting Part 2
Wow, you guys, thanks so much for commenting about comments yesterday. I think the general consensus is -- there's not enough time in the day to comment. So thanks for stopping by and letting me know that.
And now, there's just one other thing I wanted to bring up about my commenting and I thought it deserved its own post.
Your blog's appearance.
Now I know you all work hard to maintain your sidebars and have groovy widgets and pages and all kinds of pictures and some of you even have music. They're awesome to behold. Only I can't behold them. I get stuck.
Stuck, you ask? Yes, stuck. There are several people who I used to follow faithfully, but then they changed their template and for some reason, every time I visit them now, I get stuck. My internet won't close, I can't get out of their blog, I can't go anywhere in their blog, I can't move my cursor, I'm stuck. Sometimes I even crash. And let me tell you, that is scary to me. My life is on this computer.
I'm not the brightest bulb in the box when it comes to technology but I have figured that sometimes I have to let the little box on the bottom of my screen say "done" before I can go anywhere on any given blog.
I've done that when I know I'm going somewhere I think I'll get stuck. It doesn't help.
I've tried going to these particular blogs through Google Reader. Still get stuck.
I think (and this is only my non-technological brain thinking here) it may be because they have so many gadgety-widgety things and my internet access is only a step up from dial-up my internet can't keep up. But I don't know.
So, Hannah (especially Hannah) Courtney Barr, Elle Strauss (yes, you too Elle), Jessica, Julie, Hillary, and now Laurel, (I just tried it this morning) that's why you haven't seen me. It's not that I don't want to comment, I just can't. I get stuck. (And if you see any of these women, please tell them what I said. I can't even get to their sight to grab their email addresses.)
Does anyone else have this problem or it is just me?
And now, there's just one other thing I wanted to bring up about my commenting and I thought it deserved its own post.
Your blog's appearance.
Now I know you all work hard to maintain your sidebars and have groovy widgets and pages and all kinds of pictures and some of you even have music. They're awesome to behold. Only I can't behold them. I get stuck.
Stuck, you ask? Yes, stuck. There are several people who I used to follow faithfully, but then they changed their template and for some reason, every time I visit them now, I get stuck. My internet won't close, I can't get out of their blog, I can't go anywhere in their blog, I can't move my cursor, I'm stuck. Sometimes I even crash. And let me tell you, that is scary to me. My life is on this computer.
I'm not the brightest bulb in the box when it comes to technology but I have figured that sometimes I have to let the little box on the bottom of my screen say "done" before I can go anywhere on any given blog.
I've done that when I know I'm going somewhere I think I'll get stuck. It doesn't help.
I've tried going to these particular blogs through Google Reader. Still get stuck.
I think (and this is only my non-technological brain thinking here) it may be because they have so many gadgety-widgety things and my internet access is only a step up from dial-up my internet can't keep up. But I don't know.
So, Hannah (especially Hannah) Courtney Barr, Elle Strauss (yes, you too Elle), Jessica, Julie, Hillary, and now Laurel, (I just tried it this morning) that's why you haven't seen me. It's not that I don't want to comment, I just can't. I get stuck. (And if you see any of these women, please tell them what I said. I can't even get to their sight to grab their email addresses.)
Does anyone else have this problem or it is just me?
Monday, September 6, 2010
On Commenting Part 1
Good Monday morning. I'd like to discuss my commenting of late. Or lack thereof. I know this topic gets hashed and rehashed around the blogosphere every couple of months. I guess it's my turn now.
When I was a freshman ('newbie') blogger I waited in great anticipation for comments to be found on my blog. I didn't know the 'rules' to blogging or commenting or following or anything. So I waited. And then I found some rules, and began to follow them and wah-la - comments appeared.
For a long time, I wrote my blog posts and waited for comments, and then wrote responses to those comments and followed other blogs and left comments and went back to check those blogs to see if the poster had left me a comment and on and on and on. I was happy and it was fun and I was talking to other people in the writing world and everything was wonderful.
But what I really wanted most in the world was more followers. I ached for them, I longed for them, I envied those who had 100, 200 and wept when I thought "How glorious would it be to have 300 or more people who read what you had to say every single day."
What I didn't realize back then was just how time consuming blogging is. Right now, I have 205 followers. I also follow 15 agents blogs and 10 other misc. blogs. So in the course of the morning, depending on who posts, I have a tendency to read between 50 - 60 blog posts. Now, some of them are short and sweet and to the point, some of them are very informative and on the longer side, some of them are hysterical, some are full of woe and anxiety, some are full of pride and exhultation. And I read them all. Generally it takes me 2 full hours to read everything in the mornings.
The problem is - commenting. I can't comment on all of them. If I did, I would never get any of my own writing work done (or my housework, or my lawn work, or take care of Monster Baby, or my parents.)
I know some of you bloggers only write posts and don't comment at all. Some of you e-mail comments, some of you comment to the poster who commented on yours that day, and some of you comment in your comments. We all have our own way of commenting. No one is right, and no one is wrong. It's just the way we are. Some of you have families, and husbands and work and write and how you can blog at all is just beyond me.
So what I'm trying to say is - forgive me for not commenting. I read you, all of you, each and every day. I find you fascinating and brilliant and silly and fun and informative and engaging. I share in your heartaches and your triumphs, your anxieties and your fortitude. I miss you when you're gone and feel relieved when you return. What I'm asking is -- don't hold it against me if you don't see my little face in your comment box. It's not that I don't love you enough, it's just that there are only 24 measly hours in every day and some of that time is allocated to other things. I promise I'll try and do better.
Any comments?
When I was a freshman ('newbie') blogger I waited in great anticipation for comments to be found on my blog. I didn't know the 'rules' to blogging or commenting or following or anything. So I waited. And then I found some rules, and began to follow them and wah-la - comments appeared.
For a long time, I wrote my blog posts and waited for comments, and then wrote responses to those comments and followed other blogs and left comments and went back to check those blogs to see if the poster had left me a comment and on and on and on. I was happy and it was fun and I was talking to other people in the writing world and everything was wonderful.
But what I really wanted most in the world was more followers. I ached for them, I longed for them, I envied those who had 100, 200 and wept when I thought "How glorious would it be to have 300 or more people who read what you had to say every single day."
What I didn't realize back then was just how time consuming blogging is. Right now, I have 205 followers. I also follow 15 agents blogs and 10 other misc. blogs. So in the course of the morning, depending on who posts, I have a tendency to read between 50 - 60 blog posts. Now, some of them are short and sweet and to the point, some of them are very informative and on the longer side, some of them are hysterical, some are full of woe and anxiety, some are full of pride and exhultation. And I read them all. Generally it takes me 2 full hours to read everything in the mornings.
The problem is - commenting. I can't comment on all of them. If I did, I would never get any of my own writing work done (or my housework, or my lawn work, or take care of Monster Baby, or my parents.)
I know some of you bloggers only write posts and don't comment at all. Some of you e-mail comments, some of you comment to the poster who commented on yours that day, and some of you comment in your comments. We all have our own way of commenting. No one is right, and no one is wrong. It's just the way we are. Some of you have families, and husbands and work and write and how you can blog at all is just beyond me.
So what I'm trying to say is - forgive me for not commenting. I read you, all of you, each and every day. I find you fascinating and brilliant and silly and fun and informative and engaging. I share in your heartaches and your triumphs, your anxieties and your fortitude. I miss you when you're gone and feel relieved when you return. What I'm asking is -- don't hold it against me if you don't see my little face in your comment box. It's not that I don't love you enough, it's just that there are only 24 measly hours in every day and some of that time is allocated to other things. I promise I'll try and do better.
Any comments?
Friday, September 3, 2010
Friday's at the Piedmont Grille
Well good morning my lovelies. It's been a while, I know. With Monster Baby getting ready for kindergarten, it's been a long few weeks.
She goes full time now, which is a blessing for me. Did I cry when I dropped her off the very first day? No-o-o-o-o-o. My mother called me that morning at 9:00 and asked what I was doing, sobbing into my cereal, weeping into my tea. No-o-o-o-o, I was scrubbing the kitchen from top to bottom. The walls, the floor, behind the stove and refrigerator. I went crazy. Next week, I start on the playroom/office. (And it will take a whole week.)
I'd like to say Thank You and Welcome to all my new "friends" here at Piedmont Writer. So many of you, I'm so blessed. Ericka, Kalmdown, MB, Tara, Rose, Charmaine, Beth, Sora, Clarissa, Summer Ross, The English Writer, Chiccoreal, Mesmirix, Larry, Kay Em, Alison, DJ, Valerie and Shalet Jimmy. Thank you all so much for hanging out with me as I try and get a grip on the writing life.
Thanks again to everyone who read my IN THEIR OWN WORDS series. I'm leaving it up so if you missed it, there it is.
Now some of you have been following my story REMEMBERING YOU as I began posting excerpts in the spring. I've been trying to finish it up, my goal for Labor Day, but that is just not going to happen. Too many things going on. But I will tell you, that I have two more excerpts to post, yes, I'm sorry, only two, because I am almost finished with it. Almost. So stayed tuned. Big things are going to happen.
And when I said I was going to revise and be ready to query by the end of September, for those of you who laughed at me, I'm now laughing with you. What was I thinking? Obviously I wasn't. Writing is hard work. I have to keep reminding myself of that when I say stupid things out loud.
I also got the final two partials back from MASQUERADE - rejected - so that little tome is firmly shelved until I decide what to do with it. And let me tell you how subjective agents can be so you'll understand the process. (And these were the only agents out of 67 who gave me any kind of feedback - all the rest were form.)
Agent A said it was well written but the plot lacked...She didn't tell me what it was lacking only that it lacked. (I had 3 beta readers tell me they loved my plot and the mystery surrounding it held steadfast until the very end.)
Agent B said the female protag wasn't strong enough. (She only read the first 50 pages so didn't see the transformation of the female protag throughout, which was what an historical romance professional said the main MC should do.)
Agent C said my main secondary charater shouldn't be involved in the plot at all. (Which is why my female MC was involved in the plot in the first place.)
And Agent D said the writing was strong, the plot was good, the characters were wholly developed but she didn't think she could place it in the market at this time.
So, what I take away from this is - this business is very subjective.
And that's all I have for right now. I'm going to try and stick to my M-W-F posting schedule again. Like I said, the last few weeks have been busy and I haven't been around much.
Happy Labor Day weekend and for those of you on the East Coast, take good care, I hear there's a hurricane moving in.
She goes full time now, which is a blessing for me. Did I cry when I dropped her off the very first day? No-o-o-o-o-o. My mother called me that morning at 9:00 and asked what I was doing, sobbing into my cereal, weeping into my tea. No-o-o-o-o, I was scrubbing the kitchen from top to bottom. The walls, the floor, behind the stove and refrigerator. I went crazy. Next week, I start on the playroom/office. (And it will take a whole week.)
I'd like to say Thank You and Welcome to all my new "friends" here at Piedmont Writer. So many of you, I'm so blessed. Ericka, Kalmdown, MB, Tara, Rose, Charmaine, Beth, Sora, Clarissa, Summer Ross, The English Writer, Chiccoreal, Mesmirix, Larry, Kay Em, Alison, DJ, Valerie and Shalet Jimmy. Thank you all so much for hanging out with me as I try and get a grip on the writing life.
Thanks again to everyone who read my IN THEIR OWN WORDS series. I'm leaving it up so if you missed it, there it is.
Now some of you have been following my story REMEMBERING YOU as I began posting excerpts in the spring. I've been trying to finish it up, my goal for Labor Day, but that is just not going to happen. Too many things going on. But I will tell you, that I have two more excerpts to post, yes, I'm sorry, only two, because I am almost finished with it. Almost. So stayed tuned. Big things are going to happen.
And when I said I was going to revise and be ready to query by the end of September, for those of you who laughed at me, I'm now laughing with you. What was I thinking? Obviously I wasn't. Writing is hard work. I have to keep reminding myself of that when I say stupid things out loud.
I also got the final two partials back from MASQUERADE - rejected - so that little tome is firmly shelved until I decide what to do with it. And let me tell you how subjective agents can be so you'll understand the process. (And these were the only agents out of 67 who gave me any kind of feedback - all the rest were form.)
Agent A said it was well written but the plot lacked...She didn't tell me what it was lacking only that it lacked. (I had 3 beta readers tell me they loved my plot and the mystery surrounding it held steadfast until the very end.)
Agent B said the female protag wasn't strong enough. (She only read the first 50 pages so didn't see the transformation of the female protag throughout, which was what an historical romance professional said the main MC should do.)
Agent C said my main secondary charater shouldn't be involved in the plot at all. (Which is why my female MC was involved in the plot in the first place.)
And Agent D said the writing was strong, the plot was good, the characters were wholly developed but she didn't think she could place it in the market at this time.
So, what I take away from this is - this business is very subjective.
And that's all I have for right now. I'm going to try and stick to my M-W-F posting schedule again. Like I said, the last few weeks have been busy and I haven't been around much.
Happy Labor Day weekend and for those of you on the East Coast, take good care, I hear there's a hurricane moving in.
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