Monday, May 16, 2011

Love at First Sight

Good Morning My Darlings. I hope you've all had a fine weekend.

Today's question -- Do you believe in love at first sight? My answer -- a resounding yes.

I don't care what science says, I don't care how cynical people are (and let me tell you I am number one on the cynic patrol). However, I AM a romantic. And I do believe there is something to be said about looking across the room, seeing that look in another person's eyes and BLAM! There it is.

Oh sure, it may be lust. Many times, that's all it is. But there's something else underneath it. An infitismal reach into the subconscious that whispers "Could he (or she) be the ONE?" And sometimes it's fun trying to find out.

I have fallen in love at first sight twice in my life. The first with Bonezy. (You may remember him from last week.) I was bartending at the Fo'c'sle in Sakonnet Point, my second night actually, and he came in with his buddies. I was relatively new in town so when they caught sight of me I knew what they were thinking straight away -- Ah, fresh meat.

They gave me the usual razz, where're you from, how long have you been in town, are you a summer snob or what? I laughed with them, joked around, busted their balls, you know, the usual bar-time banter. But when Bonezy looked at me and smiled that first time, I mean really looked me in the eye and smiled, I fell. Splat. Right on the floor.

I knew we were meant to be together. And we were from that very night. And for five years after. But somehow the love didn't quite make it. Well, that's not true. I still loved him very much when I broke it off. I wanted more (marriage) and he couldn't give it to me. (For many many reasons, least of all being his mother, who hated my guts. Yeah, what is it about me and prospective mothers-in-law, they all despise me.) So we broke up. The last I heard, he's been with Franny since the late 90's. I hope he's happy.

The second time I fell in love at first sight was with Mike. Mike was a fiercesome creature -- ALL MAN. He was so Alpha male he could have been made out of stone. There was no soft side to Mike. Anywhere. Sure he was gorgeous, in that neanderthal kind of way, but he was too hard. Too unforgiving. He once shot his girlfriend's dog for getting into the chicken coop. (Now, I know the reasoning behind it so I forgive him, sort of.) We were each friends of friends and would run into each other socially, but I stayed very far away from him. He scared the shit out of me.

Cut to fifteen years later. We'd both gone our separate ways in life as well as in town. In the state of Rhode Island there was only one DMV office. I happened to be there one day, so were 9000 other people. I got up from the bench and there was Mike. BLAM! (What is it with me and men and the DMV?)

I looked in his eyes, he looked in mine and then he smiled at me as if he'd been waiting for me his whole life. (Remember the scene in THE HOLIDAY with Jude Law when he smiles at Cameron Diaz -- Yeah, it was just like that.) And I fell. Splat. Right on the floor. If he had asked me to run away with him right then, I would have. The hardness was gone. He'd matured. He had laugh lines at his eyes that crinkled. Whoever he had been, he no longer was. We talked for about 15 minutes. Catch up banter I'm sure. I don't remember. But what I do remember was wanting to touch him, needing to touch him. Just on the arm, the hand. My number was called. He kissed me good-bye. Just a quick peck.

I never saw him again.

I Googled him once, not too long ago. He's on My Space. Not that I know what that is, but I followed the e-trail. I didn't get far. He still lives in town. He has a son, but never married. You have no idea how badly I want to go back to RI and find him. Just to see. You know.

Tell me -- Have you ever fallen in love at first sight? Did it last? Or was it just a random encounter?

PS The adventure with the DMV guy is over. I took my mother last Monday and he didn't even look at me. Oh well.

32 comments:

Ted Cross said...

I believe in lust at first sight. I do believe we can feel a spark or a connection beyond mere interest at first sight. But no, I don't believe in love at first sight.

Laura Pauling said...

That's a tough question. I think we can feel that connection with someone right away and it could quite possibly grow into love but I'm not sure about true love at first sight.

The Words Crafter said...

OOooo, girl, that's a tough situation. If you do follow through, keep us posted!

Do I believe? Maybe. I believe there are times when you just know. With Jason and me, he snuck up on me. I was so broken and fragile that I ran from everyone. He made me laugh. A lot. When I realized what had happened, I absolutely lost my mind, but the damage was done. He'd gotten inside the wall of my heart.

Do I think it takes years to know? Nope. If you know, you know.

Dang, no wonder you write romance!!!!!

Anne Gallagher said...

Ted -- I believe in lust at first sight as well. But I also think that in certain circumstances, one may know the difference.

Laura -- Haven't you ever known people who met and remained together after that initial first meeting? Dont' you have friends who always say, "It was love at first sight.?" Just wondering.

Becky -- I know the sneaking up kind of love too. Had one of those in Nevada. I didn't like that one. He didn't love me back. But I adored him. And yeah, romance, I'm kind of an expert I think. Lolol

Al said...

I've never experienced love at first sight.

But I have experienced great friendship at first sight!

Yvonne Osborne said...

I believe in love at first sight. Or maybe it's just an instant attraction. Whatever, it's real and it's physically exhilarating. Yes, Anne, I believe.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I've had lust at first sight, but never love at first sight. I saw my future husband at a bank party, but the only reason he really grabbed my attention was because like me, it was obvious he didn't belong there. And that automatically made him seem interesting. :D

Christine Danek said...

My hubs. I think I just knew right away when I saw him. It was a weird and different feeling. The way he looked at me. It's hard to explain, but yes, I believe in love at first sight.

Anne Gallagher said...

Al -- Great friendship is good too.

Yvonne -- Thank you. Seeing is believing.

Stina -- Well, Gee, I don't know. I'm kinda having to go with love at first sight for the hubs, but only you know for sure.

Christine -- You don't have to explain, I get it. I totally do.

Creepy Query Girl said...

lol- I've only really felt it once. And it was really awkward. I was engaged and living with a guy and he invited an old Judo budy over to the house. He walked in and we looked at eachother and I just remember being caught off guard. He seemed to be too. We ended up going somewhere in my boyfriend's car and he opened the backside passenger's door for me and when I passed him by, I got hit with a full body lust ball out of nowhere. Just being close to him made the air go warm. We ended up hitting it off and flirting so much taht night my fiancé actaully got pissed. And then when my fiance and I broke up, I called him a couple weeks later and we had a really intense six month relationship. He honestly loved me for all the reasons I always wished someone would. HE saw me how I'd always hoped to be seen. But in the end, I wasn't ready. I was only 19. The whole thing scared me off and I ran away fast and far.

Linda G. said...

Yeah. We've been married for 30 years now. :)

(Okay, it was probably lust at FIRST sight. But it didn't take long to morph into love.)

Theresa Milstein said...

I've been attracted to people at first sight, but have never fallen in love at first sight. As a result, when I read books that have blam - only 2 people in the room can barely contain themselves - moments, I have a little of a believability issue.

Anne Gallagher said...

Katie -- Oh, Katie! Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you stayed? That's a great storyline brewing...

Linda -- I KNEW it would be you. I just knew it.

Theresa -- But it does happen. I think very rarely, by the responses here, but it does.

Rula Sinara said...

I believe in love at first sight, but I also believe that you don't know if it was indeed love until you look on it in retrospect. I think lust at first sight can be one way, whereas, chemistry at first sight is definitely a two way feeling. Both people feel it and there's a heightened awareness that neither can hide from the other. I think this can be love or can be a precursor to love, but there can also be unsurmountable obstacles to it. I may have just confused myself, LOL.

Summer Frey said...

I've never experienced it, but I believe that other people have. I think it's a wonderful notion, though. :)

Jaydee Morgan said...

Definitely attraction at first sight. But I'll say I believe - heck, I still believe in Santa ;)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

For a guy, lust at first sight is a good description. And yes, I have. Ended up marrying her.

Tara said...

Love. Lust. I think for those first few months it's one and the same. It's happened for me. Once.

Bossy Betty said...

Yes! I do believe in love at first sight! It happened with HOB,

Lydia K said...

I want to say it's definitely a real thing too!

Matthew MacNish said...

I've never experienced it, but I do believe in it.

notesfromnadir said...

I really enjoyed reading about your 2 love at first sight guys. Too bad about Bonezy & Mike but think of all that you've learned from them.

Yes, I believe in love at first sight. & second, & third...

Melody said...

Hmmmm, I definitely believe in 'like' at first sight. But love? No, not me. For me, love is something that is grown. Something deep and beautiful and full of promise.

Sara McClung ♥ said...

That's a really tough question. I *think* I believe in it, but since that's not the way it happened for me, I'm skeptical. Which is dumb, I know, because JUST because it didn't happen that way for me, doesn't mean it's not real. I just know I love my husband with everything I am--and we were friends for a year before we even dated and I didn't love him at first sight. Okay, I WAS attracted to him at first sight though :)

Anne Gallagher said...

Rula -- You may have confused me too, but I get what you're saying. and I agree to a point, but as a sappy romantic, I tend to think of lust as a part of love. A smallish part, but a part.

Summer -- After the picture on your blog, you don't need it.

Jaydee -- If you believe in Santa, then you can definitely believe in love at first sight.

Alex -- You know, I think men arent' likely to admit it (so thanks) but I also think more men fall in love at first sight than women. I really do.

Tara -- I think once is enough. Just to see if it truly does exist.

Betty -- Somehow I knew you would with HOB.

Lydia -- Yay!

Matthew -- Yay again!!

Lisa -- I'll tell you what, if I could find Mike right now, well, I don't know what I'd do but it'd be epic.

Melody -- Yeah, but sometimes isn't there just a little something more to the spark at that first meeting? If you let go of all the nagging doubts and just let it be?

Sara -- Okay, underneath the attraction at first sight, didn't you question it? At all? Did you ever think for one second it might be love at first sight?

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

I know some people who claim that it was love at first sight for them, so I suppose it's possible. I relish the romantic notion that it's so. But to me, "first sight" reactions are based on pure lust; it takes hours and hours of talking and sharing, of discovering each other, of understanding your differences and similarities, of sharing all kinds of experiences before lust can actually blossom into love.

Nicki Elson said...

Go find Mike! ...and then blog about it. :)

I do believe in love at first sight, but I think it's very rare. However, even when it's only lust at first sight, and both parties feel it---OOH BABY!

Ann Best said...

You ARE a romantic, Anne! And a lovely one at that!!
Ann Best, Memoir Author

Elliot Grace said...

...always the romantic:) Loved reading of your encounter. And what's up with the DMV? Every time I'm there, I feel as if I've stumbled into a Harley Davidson bike rally!

A great read as always, Anne;)

EL

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I remember the first time I saw my husband - and yeah, it was at least strong attraction at first sight.

Deniz Bevan said...

He didn't even look at you? What on earth?

But oh yes, I definitely believe in love at first sight. Sometimes you just know [g]

Anthony Lee Collins said...

I do, actually, since I've experienced it. It would have been... 1978 maybe. 1977. I remember everything about it.

We had a couple of different attempts at a relationship over the years, but it didn't work out. A variety of reasons that are too complex to describe. But It (whatever It was) is still there. She's never told her husband anything about me, though it was over long before they met.

So, yes I believe in It, but I don't think it has anything to do with having a successful relationship. That takes time and effort and needs certain types of compatibility that may not be there just because you see somebody and electricity happens.