On Today's Menu -- Pizza, Spinach Pies, and lots and lots of beer. (Be warned, this post is not for the faint of heart.)
Boy Howdy, if I ever needed a drink, today would be the day. There is nothing I would like better at the end of this day than to settle down with a large pizza and a couple of spinach pies from "Twins" (Mineral Spring Avenue, Pawtucket, Rhode Island) and a six-pack of Coors Lite bottles that have been sitting on ice all day. (Unfortunately, I'm 14 hours from Pawtucket and I haven't had a drink in 7 years.)
I knew the contractors would mess up again and let me tell you, if you thought my mother was pissed about the hole for the dishwasher, she's ready to scream now. They fixed all the stuff she told them about on Monday. But they really screwed up BIG this time. My father built a cabinet, with a tiled top that was supposed to be the centerpiece of the new kitchen. It's beautiful. The tiled top is removable and has a 1/4" bullnose edge that hangs over the cabinet. The contractor took the top off and fit the cabinet to the wall. He did not leave room for the 1/4" gap. Which means, when he fixes it, that whole corner will now stick out into the dining room. I thought my mother was going to cry. And that is something she does not EVER do.
In other news, (which is why I really need a drink) I found an agent who had just requested single title Regency romance on her blog. So I sent her mine. With my revamped query and first 10 pages, which she wanted. I got a rejection today. A form letter which basically stated -- I don't represent this genre. Can I just say, WTF??? Why do they post what they want and then say they don't want it. Is it because there's no sex, or no vampires? Tell me, just freakin' tell me, instead of lying to my face with a freaking form letter. (And the first ten pages have a killer first line, the inciting incident and the first of the internal and external conflicts, everything "they" say you're supposed to have.)
Can you tell I'm just a little crazy today?
I also have to cut the grass again. At both houses. Since the last time, my right knee has been giving me a lot of pain. I mean, really, a lot. Like I should probably go to the doctor because I think I really screwed something up. (I have to push mow the big hill because I can't use the lawn tractor.) Can I say again -- WTF???
Is it National Let's Kick Anne's Ass Week???
I'm sorry, I really am. I don't usually rant and rave on my blog, but I just had to get this off my chest. I haven't been writing, well I have, but it's not going as well as I like. I'm trying to fix MASQUERADE and what was supposed to be semi-easy is turning into a nightmare. I have no interest in any of my other stuff. I have no S.N.I.'s to take my mind off my old stuff. This writing thing is really starting to wear on me. Three years, three books and nothing. I know, I know, I've heard it all before, it takes time, the market sucks, agents are picky. But it's just so damn hard. It's wearing on me. It's eating at me. The rejections hurt more and more. My writing feels forced, and if I do manage to hit 1000 words I think they all suck toads. My confidence is gone, I have absolutely no desire, I just don't think I can do it anymore.
I don't know, maybe it's the pain in the knee (not sleeping that's how bad the pain is even with extra strength Tylenol), maybe it's because I put so much hope into the partial for REMEMBERING YOU, maybe it's the fact I know I'll have to fix all the holiday's the contractor left behind. I'm at a crossroads. Somewhere between a rock and a hard place.
I really don't want sympathy. I don't even want to be consoled. I don't know what I want, and that, my friends, I think is the hardest thing. I ALWAYS know what I want. (I really, really want a drink, but I can't have one.)
And you know, this is kind of lame after all that above, but really, truly, from the bottom of my heart,
Have a Happy Mother's Day.
I promise I'll be better on Monday.
35 comments:
That's really strange about what the agent said.On that note, I'll keep an eye out for agents who want regency romance - I know I've seen them. And if I were my mom, I'd cry about that mess up. and I hate mowing lawns!
But receiving Rs are the worst. And yes, it does emotionally wear you down. the whole querying process wears you down. Some of my crit partners probably feel I lack confidence but I try and go into querying with low expectations b/c if not the R makes me feel worse.
You know this is part of the writer's journey, right? I promise you'll swing around.
Most importantly, congratulations on staying dry for 7 years. That is an incredible accomplishment. Something to be extremely proud of! you go Anne!
Is it OK if I have that drink for you? Sounds like you need it. I think there ought to be a law that agents tell the truth and are consistent with what they say they represent. And re your knees...here's a link you might find interesting:
http://www.drbookspan.com/KneePainArticle.html
But you don't suffer alone...bad knees, rejections...yup, yup. Wishing you a happy Mother's Day.
The rejection thing makes no sense! Maybe the agent was having 'a moment.' And sorry about the mess at your mom's. I hate renovations. Everything that can go wrong usually does go wrong.
The first thing I thought of was that the agent updated the website and forgot to tell the person opening the mail...
I think, that if you belong to a writer's group Anne, you need to hold a meeting. When we are too alone, we become too good at dragging ourselves down. You are still the great writer you have always been...and you must remember that, even when the writing and the contractors are getting you down. Some in-person ego boosting or even objective criticism would help.
Happy Mother's Day to you dear. Oh, and I'm making the pizza tonight, but don't know much about spinach pie.
Laura -- Thank you. I do have things to be proud of, I just sometimes forget what they are. Thanks for reminding me. I never thought about querying like that. Maybe if I write another book, I'll try it. I will swing around, I'm just not sure how long it's going to take this time.
Em -- I know I don't suffer alone. I just usually don't talk about it. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I should. And hey, you can have TWO drinks for me.
Alex -- The agent was having 'a moment' all right. I could see if she didn't rep it, I never would have sent her the query in the first place, but she specifically requested it on her blog. The least she could have done was request a partial and then rejected me. I wouldn't have been quite so pissed. As for the reno, yeah, I knew that, but she didn't. I feel bad for her.
Liza -- Thanks. It is being alone that makes me crazy. There are no writer's groups where I am. That's why I have you guys. You all are the best. Spinach pies are easy peasy. Remind me to send you the recipe if you want.
Wow, where did you find these idiots? My husband could have done that for you for free (the screwing up part, that is). ;)
Oh, and I'm coming over for beer and pizza. :D
I doubt I could cheer you up, but you were able to produce three books in three years. It takes me three years for each book! I think that's something, even if not what you want right now.
First, may I wish you a happy Mother's Day weekend? The damn rejections suck the life right out of you, especially if you have high hopes. I'm not even going to go with all advice you've heard before. It hurts, period. I'd love to have pizza and beer with you. Maybe plant a rose instead. We can each do that. And then send another query. I'm working on that one.
Oh! And I meant to tell you I have tons of spinach in my greenhouse. Why don't you post that recipe??
Stina -- I'd love to have a pizza and beer party. We could even invite my mother!! Although she drinks Jamison's.
Ted -- Thanks for reminding me. You did cheer me up.
Yvonne -- That's it, it's official. Pizza and beer at my house tonight!!! I will be planting, this weekend. Not sure what. We had another freeze this week. And I will post that recipe, they are so good!
Writing reaches the polar extremes of pleasure and pain.
I'll drink to smooth fixes and to shiny new ideas, on your behalf.
Happy Mothers' Day.
Elaine -- Oh extremes, how you vex me! Happy Mother's Day!
I'm sorry I don't live closer--I'd totally mow for you. I've always enjoyed mowing grass.
And that sucks about the kitchen reno. My hubs and I are in the process of buying our first house, and he's already making grand plans about all the stuff he's going to do. Now, he does know how to build, but he's never done house stuff. I'm terrified that he's going to think he can handle it when he can't, and I'm going to have a ruined house...
Hope your weekend is improved!
Why yes it WAS National Let's Kick Anne's Ass Week. You didn't get the memo? The good news is next week is National Be Nice to Anne (and that means YOU writing world) Week.
Please dress accordingly.
Pizza sounds fine. & I'd like bottled root beer.
Look, next Friday is the 13th, so maybe you're getting all the bad stuff out of the way for the good luck to arrive in exactly 7 days! :)
Hope that kitchen mess gets sorted out. Take pictures & complain to the boss, the boss's boss or complain to the BBB or a state agency. It's your mom's kitchen & it should be done correctly.
That's the problem w/ some people -- they request a Regency but a few days later they decide that maybe they want a thriller!
Meanwhile, have a super Mother's Day & hug your mom! :)
Sorry you got your ass kicked this week. That is SO strange about that agent. There MUST have been some kind of cross communicaton somewhere, which is a shame.
Keep at it.
and Happy Mother's Day!
OMG i LOVE Spinach Pies so much! I eat them every weekend at the Renfest! I need to find a recipe and try to make my own.
Ok, now to go up and actually read the post. BRB with another comment
OK, here's my secret mantra for life: This, too, shall pass. I think of it whenever anything is going bad. Because it's true. Things will swing the other way. They'll get better and then they'll get great again. I also try and keep this mantra in my head when things are going great. Because that doesn't last forever either. I went this entire week without hearing anything from any agents. A whole week with nothing is a recipe for me tugging on my hair. But, i know that next week might be different. Things will get better Anne, i promise. ((hugs))
I hope you have an mp3 player or something to listen to while you're mowing---blast some angry music and scream along. I recommend Drop Kick Murphys - Famous for Nothing, the Guantlet are good ones. Emilie Autumn - Misery Loves Company, Opheliac. A little gentler, but still effective, especially toward the end, Foo Fighters - Monkey Wrench, also Offspring - You're Gonna Go Far Kid. That is my prescription.
Happy Mother's Day to you too, I hope by Sunday you're feeling much better.
Sounds like a Pillow Day to me. Those are ones where I totally need a pillow, either to punch or to put over my mouth and scream at the world.
Scream and punch a little, if you feel like it. You will get through this, but sometimes you have to let off steam. :)
Summer -- In doing things for your own house, you can take pride in even the screw ups because at least you know YOU did them. or you can very PROUD of the work that you did. Regardless of screw ups. I'm happy you guys are getting your own house. That's way cool!
Betty -- LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Thanks for that. I'll make sure I find my Hawaiian shirts and cut off jean shorts for next week. A la Magnum P.I.
Lisa -- I think I'll join you in that root beer. As for Friday the 13th, I'm going into serious hiding. I'm hoping you're right though, today is MY 13th.
Jennifer -- I have two theories -- but I can't share them. Suffice it to say, I'll never know if I'm right or not. Happy Mother's Day to you.
Sarah -- Thanks. This too shall pass is one of my favorite sayings too. I just keep forgetting to say it. Damn Alzheimers. And I'm putting up a recipe for spinach pies next week. Easy peasy and nummmmmy.
Nicki -- Okay, I appreciate the music choices but I have no idea who any of those people are. My picks would be Led Zeppelin, Grand Funk Railroad, AC/DC, old Aerosmith -- who doesn't love the way Steve screams! I do feel much better already. Happy Mother's Day to you.
Linda -- Actually, after the morning I've had, I think I'm going to take my pillow and curl up for a little nap. My damn knees kept me awake again.
I hate when agents do that! A lot of times I send in because it specified that genre in their profile and I get the same kind of message 'I'm not taking on this genre' UPDATE your frickin website then! Gah! YOu DO sound like you really need a drink. Any chance you can score a non-achoholic Odoulles or something? Placebo effect.
Congrats on 7 years without alcohol. You deserve some major kudos for that.
I got a rejection on a FULL ms. of my romantic suspense novel last year that said the agency "doesn't represent nonfiction." The ways of agents are inscrutable.
But did you know that Kensington still takes unagented submissions? I did not know that until today. I'm pretty sure they publish regency. Might be worth checking out.
Also, I can't remember, but are you a member of RWA? Just putting that in your query can make them pay more attention.
Oh, sorry for your knee! That's awful. It's also so frustrating when "simple" revisions turn into complicated ones. That always happens to me.
Wow. Considering all that you have on your plate I'm amazed you're handling it as well as you are! I just dropped by from Alex's tweet on Twitter, found your blog, and ran down the list of things you have in the works. Very prolific!
Katie -- Thank you so much for saying what I didn't. I so hate that. What are we supposed to be, mind readers as well. Non-alcohol is like fat free. Can't stand it. But I'll survive. I have 3 bags of M&M's in the freezer.
Anne -- Thanks. It's been a long time, and even longer still to think I have to wait until Monster Child graduates from high school, but I think I can manage it. I'm not in RWA. Too expensive this year. (and last, and the one before that, and that...)
Lydia -- You know, it's funny, ever since this morning when I posted this, the pain in my knee had disappeared. Hmmm. Of course I haven't gotten into my revisions yet, so that might have something to do with it.
Jeffrey -- Thanks. Always good to have another man aboard ship. As for the plate, well, hopefully the kitchen reno will be done next week. Yay!
Crap-a-doodle-do. Talk about piling on. Sorry you're having such a tough week. Too bad we aren't neighbors. Not that I'd cut your grass, mind you, but I'm a terrific supervisor. Hang in there.
Susan -- It is too bad we aren't neighbors. I'm hanging.
...I truly despise it when contractors screw up, especially when it causes your mother to cry, and more so that it happened on this, of all holiday weekends:(
Anne, you're one helluva writer, and the last thing you need is for an agent to give you the run-a-round. My advice? Turn your back and move on. Your agent's out there...just gotta sniff him out. And you will:)
Happy Mother's Day!
EL
If you need to scream it all out (or even if you just don't feel better before or after Monday...) You know where to find me. Thinking of you.
~bru
Elliot -- These contractors hate my guts because they know I was the one who pointed out all the mistakes to my mother. Sometimes I think they're doing it on purpose just to see if I'll notice. As for the agent. I'm over it now. I think. I'll find someone. And if not, well, I'll write another book or something.
Bru -- I owe you an email.
Cheers, Anne :), and Happy Mother's Day!
Well, some good news. I'm now on prednisone. It's already kicking in with the evil making thoughts. Want me to come kick some ass for you? I'd get off on account of my drugs and condition....you just call me. And give me detailed directions. The kind I can plug into a gps cause I totally suck at directions and map reading!
I really really hate it about that agent. And the contractors.
Hey! I can bring swords, too. Real ones!
And Happy Mother's Day!
take some time and look after yourself!
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