I'm not sure if I could say with complete confidence that my groove is totally back, but I'm here and I guess I'm okay. During the last year, I lost sight of what blogging is supposed to be. For me, that's fun and a learning environment.
When I started blogging so many years ago, I likened it to my college years. I went to Vermont College (distance learning where you're on campus for a week/10 days and then go home and continue your study) way back when, when distance learning was a radical thought. (Goddard College had started the idea in the late 80's early 90's and by the time I got to Vermont ('92) it was one of the fastest growing academic institutions on the East coast.) My father thought it was a waste of time and money. My mother said I would never learn anything. Well, you know what, they were both wrong. If I had the opportunity to do it all again I would do it in a heart beat.
Exchanging ideas and philosophies, talking about writing, authors, books, just being in the moment with other people who were BRILLIANT thinkers. Gah, it was life changing. Literally. (If you don't believe me, ask Les Edgerton. He went there too.)
Blogging is a lot like that. We exchange ideas, philosphies, discuss books, we learn from each other, we grow with each other. Some people are better at it than others, and can create these fantastic mind altering posts with thousands of followers, with follow up FB likes and Twitter runs. Then there are some people like me who try to keep up, falter from time to time, but just can't seem to find the right groove.
And just like in college, I get discouraged when I'm not as smart as I think I am or don't get comments, when I think I should. Yeah, we could call it jealousy, but it's not, really, more like disappointment in myself that I SHOULD have what THEY have, and why don't I? I'm smart, I'm likeable, I'm friendly, I can talk the talk and walk the walk like the rest of THEM. Why don't I have a zillion followers? Why don't any of my posts get hashtagged on Twitter?
But you know what, who cares. This last month away, I've thought a lot about what I want from my blog and I've come to the conclusion that deep down inside, I don't want THAT. It's not me. I'm a simple girl. I write romance novels. I have an 8 year old daughter, and two aging parents that I have to take care of. Those are my priorities. Blogging is just something I do because it's supposed to be fun for me.
So I'm not going to be disappointed in myself anymore with the way my blog is going. If you stop by, hey that's great. If you comment, well, hot dog, that's even better. But I've given up trying to kill myself for 80 comments. That's not what this experience is all about for me anymore.
This is supposed to be fun. And so it shall be. I'm going to write posts. I'm going to put them up. If you comment, I'll comment right back at ya. I'll try to get around and see what you're doing. Some weeks, I might make it, others, not so much. But I'm not promising anything, because like it or not, I'm a parent first, writer second, and blogger third. The first two take precedence over everything.
I'm a self-actualized woman. I know who I am and who my friends are. And my friends know that I'll give them the shirt off my back if they need it. My friends know that I'll drop everything for them if they need my opinion, or a critique, or help with a query. Because I can do the same to them. My friends also know that I take my writing seriously and they know when I only stop by once a month instead of every time they blog, it's not a slight against them. They know I'm busy. It doesn't mean I love them any less. I love them even more for their understanding.
So, for all you out there who think I'm dissing you, or I don't care because I've only commented once on your blog in the last 3 weeks, please don't think that way. I'm not. I'm just finding myself a new groove.
Tell me -- How long did it take you to find your groove?
Anne Gallagher (c) 2013