Monday, December 19, 2011

Finding My Feet

After last Friday's post, I feel a lot better about my new life as a published author. And it's all due to YOU. My blog friends. Listen now, as I break out into song, but please by all means hear Josh Grobin.

You lift me up....

Sorry, I'll stop now.

Anyway, in trying to deal with all those twisted emtions, stepping away from the blogs for awhile was a given. I had to. Besides the fact I was a dribbling sniveling mess, one of the reasons I decided to take a hiatus was because of all the pressure (real or imagined) that people expect you to blog about important stuff once you're published. That you "know" things other writers don't. That the wisdom you've gained should be shared with everybody else. And believe me, if I had it, I would have shared it. See, but the problem was, I ain't no smarter now than I was before September 29th. It's still the same incoherent babbling.

The other reason I needed to take a hiatus was because my father is not doing so well. He's had a few ups and downs over the last few years, but this last bout (since I published actually) has had him in and out of doctors offices and hospitals at least twice a week so it's been a lot of emotional upheaval in more ways than one. He's holding his own for the time being, has an appointment with another specialist after the holidays, so hopefully they can figure out what the f*ck is wrong with him. (He's had ALL the tests, ALL the scans, ALL the bloodwork, and no one can give him a definitive answer why he feels like shit all the time.) So I'm over there a lot. (My life with my parents has always been complicated and whether they support me in my book writing is neither here nor there. They're still my parents and I do love them dearly.)

The third reason I needed to step away for awhile is I needed to get on with the process of finishing the next novel in my series -- THE DUKE'S DIVORCE. Between The Monster and being at my parent's beck and call, it's been a little dodgy finding the time to really get the flow I'm looking for, but I can report, I am now at 68,736 words, so I'm 2/3 done.

Any published author will tell you, after the first book comes out, there's this INCREDIBLE mind numbing PRESSURE to produce another book, whether traditionally pubbed or indie. And I took the responsibility of placing it on myself. Let me just say, there were a few days where I thought I was really going to throw in the towel. Ask Bridget, she can attest to the upheaval with email I sent her. I thought I was going to explode.

But, I found out, I can only write a book so fast, or slow, they all come out one word at a time. And even then, sometimes for every 15 written, I have to delete 14. You know how it goes.

Anyway, what this rambly post means, is that, I guess I'm still on hiatus, but I've found my feet, so to speak. I can stand upright for now. I can breathe. I can tell you stuff, just because I can, because I know you'll listen and I don't have to impress you. I can just be me. I may not be around like I used to be, but I'm still here. I love you guys, I really do, and I wouldn't be where I am without each and every one of you.

You lift me up...

Sorry. I'll stop now, but you know what I mean. And sorry in advance for making that song stick in your head for the rest of the day.

16 comments:

Em-Musing said...

Ha! I'm probably the last one on earth who doesn't know the song. You have a lot on your plate, and you're doing more than many, many people. 68,736 words is awesome, especially writing through difficult times. If I could give you a gift, it would perspective, so you'd see how you persevered to be a published author, that your raising a daughter, and that you are a loving daughter.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

So sorry to hear about your father! Prayers for him. And yes, there is pressure. Not fun.
I think you're full of wisdom!

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I hope things get better soon with your father.

It's sounds like your parents are as supportive about your writing as mine are about mine. Fortunately my in laws ARE supportive, especially my mother in law. No wonder I love her so much. :D

Enjoy your blogging vacation. This is a great time of the year for that. Most of us are going to be doing the same thing soon.

Linda G. said...

Sorry your father isn't doing well.

Glad you've found your feet again, though. :) And I'll forgive for getting that song stuck in my head...eventually. ;)

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

eh, tis the season for blog hiautuses (hiati?) anyway. I hope they figure out what's wrong with your dad and put him on a fast path to recovery

jbchicoine said...

Glad your feet are back where they should be! You have made some amazing progress--so proud of you!

Anne Gallagher said...

Em -- Thanks. thanks for the perspective, I'll take a side of introspection with that too.

Alex -- Thanks. The old man will be fine once I get him down to the seashore. He says he'll never live near the ocean again, but I personally think that's his whole problem to begin with.

Stina -- What is it with parents? I'm glad you have your mother-in-law. I wish the vacation would be to Acalpulco or somewhere warm. Ha! Maybe when I get rich. Double Ha!

Linda -- Sorry about the song. It's been in my head for DAYS!

Sarah -- I hope they find what's wrong with him too. He's driving me crazy.

Bridget -- Thanks. That pride goes right back at ya!!

Angie Paxton said...

I'm so sorry you've been struggling, Anne and I'm so glad that you've found your feet and are breathing again. I sincerely hope your father is able to find something or someone who can help him get better and I hope you're incredibly proud of those 60,000+ words you've managed with all of this going on.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Of course you found your feet again. You're a strong woman, and don't you forget it! So sorry your dad's having medical problems. I hope they come up with a diagnosis soon. Feeling like crap and not knowing why is sheer hell.

DeniseCovey_L'Aussie said...

You lift me up...da...da...da...Just kidding. Could be a worse song in my head than that little beauty.

Interesting post Anne. Sounds like you've put way too much pressure on yourself. Relax. Enjoy the Christmas break. I hope your dad is okay.

All the best with your next novel.

I'm wondering why you don't have a link to buy your book on this blog. I know it'll be elsewhere but most of us, er, speaking for myself are too lazy to go hunting but would quickly click if it was looking at us, me...

Merry Christmas!

Denise

Anne Gallagher said...

Angie -- Thanks. Yes I am awfully proud of everything I've done so far. It's the next little while that has me in fits. But this too shall pass.

Susan -- Yeah, it's been a roller coaster ride for all of us where my father is concerned. He's not terribly old (73) and we all know he's got quite a few good years left. It's just hard not knowing what's wrong with him.

Denise -- I never actually thought about putting a "buy" button on this blog, but now that you mention it, I guess it would be a good idea. Thanks.

Patti said...

I hope your dad is okay and they figure out what's wrong. There's nothing worse than the unknown.

Have a very Merry Christmas

February Grace said...

I'm sorry to hear your dad hasn't been doing well, I hope that you manage to still have as good a Christmas as possible. Keeping you in my thoughts.

hugs and lots of love
bru

Francine Howarth: UK said...

Hi,

Chin up, sounds like your Dad's a little down in the dumps hence no diagnosis despite tests! Age can get to one, and some people think about mortality more than others while at the same time keeping their thoughts innermost, more especially as the young get older, too! Shortness of breath, a headache, unusual stiffness, and men in particular (of a certain age) are prone to think the end is nigh and actually believe it to point of feeling devoid of energy. My hubby's a medic and sees this condition in a lot in men of a certain age. With seasonal cheer and all the festivities you have the opportunity to blow his mind with the best liquid Punch ever brewed! Have a happy laughing time, and make this Christmas memorable! ;)

Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year!
best
F

Ps, keep those books coming = brand yourself. And, I concur with Denise put at least one book cover on this blog to direct bloggers to your writer blog and Amazon links.

Sarah Pearson said...

My thoughts are with your dad. And with you :-)

Al said...

Hope your dad improves!

The only pressure you should feel about your writing is that which you put on yourself. It should be pleasurable whenever possible!