I wasn't going to post until Monday, after the holiday, but just for fun, I was skimming through my old posts to see what the last few New Year's were like, and well, here I am.
Three years ago I catered a wedding on New Year's Eve. I forgot all about that. My first last and only job in NC. It was icy raining, I had to drive UP a mountainside, and then back down. I did not like the people, they did not like me. The groomsmen were drunk as pigs, the bride was a demanding little bee-yotch, the father hit on me, and the only people I really talked to were the dogs. A far cry from my catering clientele in Rhode Island. (I'm not casting aspersions, I'm just saying it's different down here is all.)
I had also, during the course of that year, finished writing and querying MASQUERADE. Lots of interest, no takers. I'm still thinking it's all about the sex, or lack thereof. But you know, I still stand by that. I don't need to write sex to have a good book.
Two years ago, I was still writing THE LADY'S FATE but calling it MisMatched. I was also in the throes of trying to put together a YA (yeah, I know huh - I do still like that story and think it might be a good one to finish but not right now.) I thought about going on a diet, and you know what happened to that thought. I finished REMEMBERING YOU and queried that. I really thought I was going to land an agent with that one. And well, things happened to make me take a really hard look at my writing life.
Now last year at this time, I wrote a post (which you can find here) and after re-reading it, I thought WOW, that was really prolific. Now I'm not saying I'm a prolific writer by any means, but every once in a while I do have a moment. And that was mine. I built my fence. Thinking on it now, it's like a giant mandala, and I suppose that was the purpose of it all along. Only I didn't know that then.
This year, looking back, I have accomplished a lot. I'm very proud of me. Certain things, not so much, but for the most part I'm pretty happy with the decisions I've made. I've made mistakes, sure, who hasn't, there were probably a lot of things I should have done differently, but I made my choices and there we have it. No changing it now.
Looking ahead, I can only take it one day at a time. Because joy happens in life, and you have to be ready to accept it, and you know what else, so does shit. And somehow it all evens itself out.
It's not fun being a writer sometimes. It's a head game for the most part. It's also very lonely and isolating and if I didn't have you guys, I wouldn't be where I am today.
No, I'm not going to sing again, but I want to thank you all for being there for me. Being a writer is a tough job. Being a published author is even harder. You have to love it with your whole heart. Dreams really do come true, and it's within each and every one of you to make your own a reality.
So Happy New Year my friends. May you all find your heart's desire in 2012!