Good Morning My Darlings. Have you ever been fixed up? Have you ever had well meaning friends, business colleagues, your Aunt Grace say to you -- "I know the perfect man for you. You have just got to meet him!"
Ugh. Yes, I'm sure we've all been there. How'd it go? Did you take them up on the offer? If so, how'd it turn out?
I've been fixed up on many occasions. Always to disastrous results. Now, mind you, all parties involved knew what we were getting into. Sometimes it was a blind fix up, other times it involved double dating. Where, during some part of the night, I would drag my friend in the ladies room and ask, "How could you possibly think that man and I had something in common?"
Now, I don't doubt the sincerity of these people, they truly believe they know us better than we think we know ourselves and according to them we are so blind to know what we want, we'll take a look at someone who would not be on our radar at all.
Yeah. I know my own mind. I know what I'm looking for in a man. My list of prerequisites is pretty long.
The other night I was trolling through cable tv (the bane of my existance -- 92 channels and not a thing to watch) when I came upon the show The Millionaire Matchmaker. I had never seen it before, although had heard of it and decided to watch just to see how a millionaire went about finding a date.
Well, it's the usual tv trope, interview the guy, find out what he wants in a woman, interview the girls (notice that's plural), have a big meet-and-greet where the matchmaker introduces each man to about 15 girls the matchmaker thinks he'd like to meet, and see who he picks.
O.M.G. Can I just say this show is almost as bad as The Bachelor/ette series.
Now on this particular episode, one of the men was a real jerk. Wanted a woman who would basically give up her life and dreams and goals to fulfill his every desire. Yeah, I'm not kidding. He wanted a June Cleaver sort, although he wanted her to look exactly like Jessica Simpson. (his words, not mine.) So the matchmaker found him 15 women who fit his list (his list was longer than mine, and extremely detailed).
And it got me thinking. One of the things the matchmaker kept telling him was he had to let go of his list. He had to think outside the box because he probably wouldn't meet the "woman of his fantasies". And I agreed. This man wanted several things that to me, just weren't possible. But he insisted. He would not give up his list. He wanted a woman who --
had a 36 - 40D bust size (no bigger, no smaller)
would bear him twin girls (huh? how can you think that that's what you'd get?)
would give up whatever it was she was doing and live with him (her family, her life, her career)
was a great cook (like a professional chef kind of cook)
was a church going woman (which is important, however he demanded that she be of his faith only or convert)
had long blond hair (but not dyed)
had a devastating smile (but real teeth not teeth that had been worked on)
and the piece de resistance had an IQ that was not higher than his (I almost threw up in my mouth when he said that)
Guess what. He found one. Yup he did. I could not believe it. To me, this man was a narcisstic, egotistical a$$hole, the kind of man women fought in the 70's. Can I get an "Amen for Gloria Steinam" here? But somehow, he persevered through the matchmaker's discouragement and got exactly what he wanted.
Question -- When finding your significant other, were you fixed up? Did you have a list of prerequisites? Is he/she your ideal partner? Or did you just meet someone and "know" they were perfect for you?
Second question -- If anyone knows a guy who looks like Tom Selleck, has the tenderness of Denis Leary, is as smart as Tom Brokaw and the money of Warren Buffet, could you send him my way.
30 comments:
The question is? Will they last more than a month! :)
First question: I was set up with my husband. I did not fall in love with him for the reasons she thought I would. I fell in love with him for reasons much more significant.
Second question: I'll keep my eyes peeled, Anne!
I love the man you're looking for, if I ever find him I'll certainly send him your way!!!
As for me and my husband, we met at work. I had planned on going to college that fall and worked until then, falling in love and never making it out of state until he was ready to leave.
As for that episode, I saw it, and I'm addicted to the trash. I can't believe some people are so picky. As long as the woman doesn't mind knowing that he chose based on her IQ as well then they'll do fine!
Rebecca -- That's nice you found significant love. And thanks for thinking of me, but I'm sure the man I'm looking for doesn't exist. That's why I'm still single.
I had a blind date once. I discovered my date had quit high school her senior year because she was going through some "mental issues". Not wanting to be one who would overreact, I probed to find out if her "issues" were due to a death in the family or some major catastrophe. Nope...she just couldn't handle the stress of high school. It was an early evening that night.
Ugh. Can't believe that millionaire! Or, actually, I can. What I can't believe is that he found a woman to go along with it. Unless she was just planning on collecting alimony later, in which case they deserve each other.
Jen -- I read some where that almost 50% of people find their spouses at work. Interesting. And that guy...what a loser... millionaire or not.
DL -- Early night indeed. Yeah, so many of my blind dates were with ex-cons...wonder why my friends thought I would be impressed.
Linda -- I hadn't thought about the possibility of alimony, but that's probably why she went out with him. You should have seen the dress whe was wearing. "The girls" were hanging out so much I thought the string on the back of the dress would snap in half. Stupid woman! Or smart as a fox.
Fate brought me and my hubs together. For me, it was just a french fling. But God decided otherwise when a peestick came back positive after we'd only been dating a few months. And God was right- I think he chose a much better man for me than i would have ever chosen for myself.
As for the millionaire show- yuck! Something tells me their life long union will probably not be a happy one.
But how did her know she would bare him twin girls?
I found the man of my dreams when I wasn't looking. But due to a misunderstanding, our relationship almost never made it past the second date. Fortunately I gave him another chance and have never regretted it. :D
Ha! I would have loved to be a fly on the wall watching you watching THAT show! My guy? He came to work in my native prairie...and our love grew. Yeesh! Did I just write that sappy tale? But it's true. It did happen just that way.
I have been set up, but it's never worked out! I met my husband through the internet, though. It's worked for us!
Katie -- I think that God really is the only one who knows up better than we know ourselves.
Stina -- You know as well as I do, you can't pick out how many children you want at a time. You get what you get, but this guy kept insisting he wanted twin girls. He was just such a jerk. And a millionaire. He probably figured he could buy off the doctor to make it happen the way he wanted.
Em -- I was throwing things at the tv. Hey, sappy love is always the best.
Talli -- Hmmm, I tried the internet too, but it didn't work for me. I'll have to find another way.
Denis Leary is tender?
My list was short but precise. And my wife more than fit the bill.
Alex -- Why did I know you would be the one to ask about Denis Leary. Yes, he is. But not in the way that you would think. He does all that work for the firefighters. Thinking of others like that does indeed make a man tender, of heart perhaps, but tender nonetheless.
I shudder to think of the day when I will be "fixed up" though I am sure my friends will delight in it. A little too early to think about that though....
I've never been fixed up. Then again, I was married way too young for it.
I'd really like to think that the show was totally bogus, and it probably was, but guys like that do still exsist. No matter, they will never have anything real in their lives, and doubtfully a marriage that will last or be anything but a business arrangement.
Your list made me giglle. If I come across one, I'll let you know. Then I'll set up a blind lunch date for you. ;)
I get truly sick to my stomach when I watch shows like that. Blech! I'm surprised he found a match.
Have a great week, Anne.
If you wrote that show into a novel, the guy would be criticised as being a caricature.
I was set up once. It was the worst relationship of my life - I should have gone with my guy instinct :-)
I met a guy on the internet - usual story, we lived at opposite ends of the country, not each other's type, so not needing a relationship etc etc. Yeah, we've been together 5 years this month :-)
and that should say 'gut' instinct - I have no guy instinct :-)
I've never been set up, either. But then, I met my future husband when I was 21. We lived in the same barracks (co-ed when you have your own bathroom), and I passed him in the hall numerous times. Can't say I had a list of prerequisites at that age. I think I just wanted someone who loved me and I found that. Been married 32 years in December!
Betty -- I think your friends will respect your space until you're ready. At least I hope so.
Tara -- Oh yes, guys like that still do exist. And I've met quite a few since I moved down south. And if you set me up on a blind lunch date with THAT guy, I'll love you forever.
Michelle -- That show was definitely blech, but it was like watching a car accident. I couldn't shut it off.
Sarah -- Oh what a wonderful story! How sweet. All my (two) long distance relationships didn't work out. Too much angst.
Stacy -- I cannot believe you've been married for 32 years. I don't know why I thought this, as I don't really know you, but I thought you were only in your late 20's.
You know what? I'm actually starting to get a little offended here that I can't think of one time when I was set up by a friend. *hmphf* BUT I've played matchmaker quite a few times - and swore off of it after it never worked out.
On to your questions: No, not a set up. Um, yeah - the list: dark hair, medium height, funny - I got: blond, 6'3", thinks he's funny. Not right away, but fairly early on there was a calmness with him where I didn't doubt we'd be married.
Is Dennis Leary tender? Wait, I'm thinking of Gary Busey, hehehe...
I knew I liked you! When I was dating my now husband, my father used to say, You like [my husband]because he looks like Tom Selleck. My husband's grandmother said, "You like Tom Selleck because he looks like [my husband]!" Whatever...it worked, although it would have been nice if he came along with the Warren Buffet wallet too!
Nicki -- A calmness. I like that. I really do. I'm gonna have to use that in a book somewhere. And Gary Busey is to Denis Leary... uh, not even close. But I'll forgive you. Gary used to be good looking but not anymore.
Liza -- Tom Selleck is my ultimate dream man. Thankfully I won't ever have to meet him in person because I would probably throw up, pee my pants or some other highly embarrassing thing. He's a looker that's for sure.
Think about the times you got exactly what you wanted. How long did the satisfaction last? How long 'til you started wanting something else? That's how long I give that relationship.
I've only been fixed up once, and we were totally mismatched. I think that was the idea. A married "friend" set us up. Came to find out she was interested in the guy and wanted to keep an eye on him. She later divorced her husband and married my date.
Growing up I never felt the need to have a boyfriend or any desire to marry. I'm sure that's why I always had a boyfriend, and why Mr. VR and I recently celebrated our 28th (holy moly!) anniversary. My list: Intelligent, great sense of humor, honest, personal cleanliness (ok, so I'm weird).
I was introduced to my husband by a friend of mine. She said we would be good together. We've been married for 13 years and together for almost 18. So I guess it worked out for me.
If I see what you're looking for I will send him your way.
Millionaire Matchmaker is a guilty pleasure of mine. My teen and I watch it a lot. I like her two drink rule and the no sex till in a monogamous, committed relationship. But the pressure to uh break that rule is applied a lot.
I met mine at a BBQ. He was on a date. I was with my boyfriend. We didn't like each other at all, but two weeks later we were dating. 6 weeks later we were married. 26 years later--we're still together warts and all.
I wish I could find your perfect mate. Don't settle. Be true to yourself.
:-)
My aunt called me up one day when I was home for Christmas break from college and asked, "Would you like to meet a nice young man?" EXACT words.
Blind date.
We married less than two years later and are going on our 17th anniversary.
You never know... :-)
I never watch those shows and you've convinced me I'm not missing anything. How about that Tom Selleck. He's been so great at every age.
I found my wonderful hub when I wasn't looking for a relationship. I'm keeping him.
Post a Comment