Good Morning. Lots of stuff going on in my little world lately. But the most important thing -- the re-vision of THE LADY'S MASQUERADE.
As you know, I said I had a totally new vision for that book. I was going to rip it apart and put it back together. Well, in the least possible painless way that I could. Guess what. I can't.
Well, not the way I thought I would be able to. Seems I miscalculated my ego. Yeah, my ego. I thought I would just go in, fix the POV's, make a few changes here and there, and it would be fine.
Not so much. It seems I have to completely change the main characters to whom I never would have imagined them to be. I've been taking the printed manuscript with me as I wait for Monster Child to get out of school. I nitpicked through the first 15 pages, sratching out, rewriting, moving things around, and then it finally dawned on me.
THIS IS GARBAGE. Pure and utter shite. Crappy, crap crap crap.
I guess this means I have grown as a writer. When I can look at something and realize -- this is just not going to work anymore. (Michelle, now I know exactly how you felt about Monarch. Which I didn't understand before, but now I do. Oh, I so do.)
And you know what, as much as I am potentially thrilled I have these great new ideas, I am just so damned depressed. Not for the work. Basically I know I have to write a whole new book (although I may be able to cadge some of the latter scenes to use.)
Depressed because the book I wrote and loved won't exist anymore. The people who I fell in love with won't be the same. And you know, as a Taurus, I hate change. With every fiber of my being.
However, I also know, as a writer, I have to do this. Otherwise, that book will sit under the bed with the bunnies for the rest of my life. And it can't. I won't do it to me or to them, Penny & William. (My main characters -- yeah, I think of them as real people. Hey, I'm a writer, can't help it.)
Question -- How depressed do you get when you realize your manuscript just won't work anymore? Do you put it away and work on something else, or do you bite the bullet and go with the flow?