Monday, October 11, 2010

A Conversation with my Inner Editor

Good Morning everyone, I told you it wouldn't be long before I missed you all. I've been working steadily on revisions, taking in all the feedback received from my dear beta/critters. It's truly overwhelming to believe I've forgotten everything I learned in 6th grade about sentence structure.

Anyway, as I was in the throes the other night, I found myself arguing with -- myself. Here is the conversation.

Writer Me: Hey, that first act was pretty good.

Editor Me: Are you nuts? Four out of six people were "horrified". Don't you know any other words? How about frightened, or scared, or even slightly surprised?

Writer Me: Hey, it's a shitty first draft. I'll change it when I get to it.

Editor Me: Well, what about all those 'as's'? No other word up your sleeve for that either?

Writer Me: It's how I think. I write like I think. Whatever spills from the brain gets written on the page.

Editor Me: Well, that certainly explains a lot.

Writer Me: Hey, I beg to differ. And who was the one who said my settings were "bucolic" and "picturesque" to quote from Dear Richard.

Editor Me: And they were. Which surprised me. I didn't think you had it in you. You're such a dialogue whore.

Writer Me: I do what I know best. I like dialogue. It gets to the heart and soul of the character.

Editor Me: Well, you could use a lot of help with your POV's. They're disgraceful. And you call yourself a writer.

Writer Me: Yes, I am a W-R-I-T-E-R. I'm not published yet, I'm allowed to make a few mistakes.

Editor Me: A FEW mistakes, did you see that red pen slashing through the first scene from the lovely critter?

Writer Me: I saw it. What about it?

Editor Me: Well, obviously you need to go back to grade school to learn the basics of English grammar and composition.

Writer Me: Oh yeah, and where the hell were you when I was writing this in the first place? You just come out of hiding to point to all my mistakes?

Editor Me: Don't be ridiculous, you know where I was. You know I was there right behind you egging you on when you were struggling. You know I stood by your side when the shit hit the fan and Genna didn't want to meet Pete. You know I passed you the Kleenex when you wrote the scene when Sally had his heart attack. I'm always with you, that's the trouble. When you write your shitty first drafts you don't want to listen to me. That's why it's going to take you four years to revise this.

Writer Me: Oh shut up and get me the pretzels. I've got to work on Act Two.

24 comments:

Linda G. said...

LOL! Sounds like what goes on in my head. ;)

Amie B said...

ha ha! LOVE that. sounds a lot like my conversations. :)

Jennifer Shirk said...

Ha! The writer-me is a bit of a dialogue whore too. :)

Tess said...

hahahahahaha....so, so true.

Christine said...

Love it! Sounds like a conversation I've had many times with my inner editor LOL. So true!!

Kristen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristen said...

Sorry, glaring typo in my last post. *facepalm*

Bwahahahaha! It's such a relief to know that I'm not the only person who has full-fledged arguments with myself. As of the moment me and my inner editor are not on speaking terms *crosses arms*.

Christine Danek said...

I think I just had this conversation with myself this morning. So funny. I feel the same way about the 6th grade English. Did it just disappear from my brain?
Good luck!

Melody said...

Haha, this was great! Sounds like my inner conversations... :)

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

Your inner editor is so NICE compared to mine! She didn't ever swear at you. (Although she did call you a whore... I heard my inner editor cheering yours on at that moment. See what I mean, mine's such a bitch!) I love that you call your betas "critters." I'm going to use that! Too funny!

Good luck with revisions, Anne!

Ann Best said...

Hilarious! This goes to show what a great writer you are. Yeah, sometimes it's hard to believe that what we put down on paper is really NOT very good!!

But, like you, if we're willing to let others react to our first drafts so we can get that crucial feedback, we're on the right track!! KEEP GOING!!!!!
Ann

Domey Malasarn said...

This is both funny and frustrating! I've had a lot of these conversations with myself. Sometimes they paralyze me.

Terry Towery said...

Sounds familiar! I've had those same conversations with myself over the past three years. Thanks for the great post. :)

Bish Denham said...

Oh this sounds just like what I'm going through write errr right now.

Talli Roland said...

Oh, I so know this conversation - I've had it almost every second for the past two weeks! My head is about to explode - how you're faring better!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You need to write a book about a writer and an editor!

Donna Hosie said...

LOL.

I think you are now at the stage where you should trust your inner editor completely. Really it is just your sixth sense telling you what you already know. Mine was pestering me about a portion of my first chapter for MONTHS! Last night I listened to it and deleted the whole section. Felt SOOOOOOOOOO good!

Ariel Swan said...

The inner voice is important so that we can be somewhat reflective. I like to step outside the writer self sometimes and be the READER though - nevermind the Editor.I guess I'm not there yet. I can't even imagine what they're thinking.

DL Hammons said...

LOL. You'll have my comments by the end of the week. Promise!!

The Words Crafter said...

I loved this! You really are great at dialogue, btw.

VR Barkowski said...

Ha! I know my IE is important, but really, some days I just want to slap her around.

Saumya said...

Haha, I love this. That Inner Editor can really test a girl's patience!

Theresa Milstein said...

Cynthia Lord said she won't listen to her inner editor until revisions. Easier said than done. Even when I wait, I find my inner editor just makes me feel bad. Stupid inner editor.

Deniz Bevan said...

Great post Anne! My editor never shuts up - and then there's also BringMeDown Me, who keeps whispering that the whole MS sucks... Why won├Ęt she go away?