Monday, June 27, 2016

Resume All Engines

So, it's been four months since I was last here. Seems like forever. I've turned on my laptop several times in the last several weeks to share the progress of Robert's injuries, but turned it off. I didn't want to whine.

Robert had his surgery, everything went according to plan, the doctor has given him a good prognosis--Robert should be walking again by the end of the summer. Unfortunately, that's not soon enough for me. I know, I know, people have said "it could have been so much worse". Yes, it could have, I'm thankful that it wasn't, but I'm sick of playing nursemaid--especially when I know Robert is capable of doing many things from his wheelchair but chooses not to. *whine*

I haven't written a word since March 9. Okay, that's a fib. I've written maybe 500 words since March 9. It's not enough. As a matter of fact, it deflates me as my usual word count hovers around 2000-3000 words per session. I can't seem to get into any kind of groove. Maybe because every time I sit down, I hear the cry from upstairs..."I need...Can I have...Where is my..." Not to mention, every five seconds Monster is hungry. *whine*

What's a writer to do if she's not writing? Well, I'll tell you. My house has never been so clean. The laundry is all done, nary a dirty sock to be found. The dust bunnies have vanished. The kitchen sink sparkles. The closets are immaculate. Trips to Goodwill have claimed two car loads of stuff. Did I mention I hate housework? *whine*

I finally got up the gumption to skip through the blogosphere and found I had missed soooo much. It's so disheartening. I never wanted to be one of those people who just disappeared, and then I was. I feel like such a slug. *whine*

I promised Monster this year that we would get a pass for the community pool down the street. We enjoyed it for the first three days, until sun poisoning and a hacking cough claimed us both. I thought it would be fantastically fun, and Monster would finally find some neighborhood friends. Not a chance. All the girls at the pool are either younger or older than her, and she just doesn't want to hang out with me. Needless to say, we haven't been to the pool as much as I expected. *whine*

So, where does all this leave me? I'm not sure. The only thing I do know is that I have to get back to it somehow. Get back to writing. So here I am. I figured if I posted something, anything, even if I whined (and I hate doing that) it might help me find some kind of groove again. We'll see if it works.

Thanks for listening.

Anne Gallagher (c) 2016


Author R. Mac Wheeler said...

Welcome back, and a hello to Monster.

I think you should try a story in a different genre. Something new and alien. I had a ton of fun writing my recent dark DEAD MAYBE.

just a thought.


D.G. Hudson said...

I know how you feel, with having to care for my husband who had a heart attack two years ago and has been recovering since. Most of my day is spent taking care of him as he needs help with many functions. I get whiny and annoyed when not writing too, then I remind myself that he is here with me still, and that's not the case for many who have cardiac arrest.

Just keep plugging away. That's what I'm trying to do. You've got books on the market, your fans will understand. Life happens to all of us. It's how we handle it that improves our stamina. Good luck in finding that writing time. It will come.

Stacy McKitrick said...

I listened (read). Maybe blogging will get your groove back. If anything, you've got friends who will read (listen). Even if you whine. :)

Liza said...

Sometimes writing it all out of you (the angst, anger, frustration, disappointment) clears the way for other writing. Maybe you need to "whine" for a bit...if not here, then in a private journal. Clear out the gunk. Then the good writing will emerge!

Maria Zannini said...

Being a caregiver for a long period of time can wear anyone out.

Is there anyone who can give you a break? Can you let him start doing things for himself? If you're sure he can handle some tasks, I'd just stop doing them.

Anne Gallagher said...

Mac -- I do actually have a funky kind of story floating around in my head, but I feel guilty for even thinking about it instead of trying to finish the other three novels I already started. And finding time to sit down and put pen to paper is the hardest part for me right now. Maybe I should write by the pool with or w/o Monster. Hmmmm.....Thanks for the great idea.

D.G. -- Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm so sorry about your husband. I had no idea that's what had happened to you when you weren't around as much as you used to be. I think my problem is that now it's summer, my life is not as structured as it usually is when Monster is in school. I need to sit down and make a schedule BUT, it's summer and I really need some down just do nothing for awhile. (It's been a rough year over all and I do need some down time.) I'll make it work somehow. I hope.

Stacey -- Thanks for listening/reading/supporting my idea to get back to blogging. I think it will be good for me to get back into the groove of blogging, just to keep my "writing" brain fired up. And maybe that will lead to me opening up a manuscript. Thanks.

Liza -- I used to keep a journal for years, and then after Monster was born, I let it go to the wayside. I have been thinking about writing some stuff down, but in manuscript form instead of in a journal. It's all about getting back to "work" for me. I feel lost when I'm not working so I really need to make the time.

Maria -- I wish there was someone to give me a break, but alas, there's no one. I have let him do some things by himself, but he's such a man and makes such a mess, it's just easier for me to do them. My biggest problem is that he used to cut the grass and take care of the yard, which is hard for me b/c of my own health issues. It hurts me to drive the tractor and I end up junk for a couple of days after. I wish I could pay someone to do it, but there's just no extra money. *whine*

Laurel Garver said...

Caregiving is a huge energy drain, so don't be too hard on yourself if it seems like writing is just too much right now.

When I've been away from writing a while, sometimes warm ups and prompts help me find my groove again. I created some summer-themed ones you're welcome to try out

Hang in there, my friend!

Anne Gallagher said...

Laurel -- Thanks. I've thought about this a lot over the last couple of days and decided that short stories were going to be my ticket back in to novel writing. I have some things brewing and I'm hoping to be able to carve out a schedule after the July holiday. And I will take you up on your offer for writing prompts. I need all the help I can get.

J.B. Chicoine said...

You are accomplishing amazing things, and all the angst is character development in the bank, so to speak. You have some great fodder for when you get back around to it. I do miss you, but fortunately blogging is not the only way to keep in touch! ;)