Monday, December 3, 2012

How Wearing Work Boots Can Help Make You a Better Writer

Okay I know, this isn't like a craft book or a writing class or anything like that, but bear with me and I'll try and explain. As you know, I've been working on the old house for the last forever it seems. One thing I learned a long time ago working with my carpenter brother is you need a good pair of work boots. They keep your ankles firm while climbing a ladder, they keep your toes from being broken if you have to kick something, and believe it or not, after they're broken in, they really are comfortable -- something about those big thick soles keep you firmly on the ground. Definitely not like high heels, no chance of breaking your ankle because you fell off them.

Okay, so this is what I basically look like, sans the beard. Oh, and add some thick hiking socks, the kind with the red band around the top. Yup, that's me, mismatched clothes and all, hair a mess, and let's not forget the paint smears on my forearms, hands, and one or two across the legs as well.

So, how does this get-up make me a better writer? Here we go.


1.) After a long day of painting (or lawn mowing, or whatever it is I'm doing) I go home to the Monster. I make her something to eat and then retreat downstairs to my office. Once I'm sitting in my chair, I can't get up. No, seriously. For one, I've been working all day and am just exhausted. Two, the damn boots are so heavy, I just don't want to move. Hence, I'm still sitting in my chair. What can I do -- why write of course.


2.) Now because I look like this I also don't go out much. Oh sure, at Home Depot everyone looks like this, so that's okay, but I never go out in public. (Okay, that's a lie, I go everywhere looking like this, but I keep my sunglasses on so no one will recognize me.) Anyway, because I don't go anywhere, I have nothing else to do but write.

3.) Wearing this get-up makes me look like a man. A big burly man. I suppose if I wanted to really make the look complete I could wear my pearls, but let's not get crazy. Okay, so wearing man clothes, and man boots, I start to channel man thoughts. And as I write romance, I really need to think like a man at least half the time.

4.) Work boots are heavy. No doubt about it. Mine weigh at least almost a 1.5 pounds each foot. Wearing them all day feels like walking through swamp mud. BUT, once you get used to them, as I said, they're comfortable and you don't really feel how much they drag. Wearing work boots all the time you never need to do pilates or aerobics or stair-step ever again. Let me tell you how fab my ass looks. And no more cottage chesse thighs. And if you're not wasting an hour a day at the gym, you have more time to write.

5.) And because I'm a savvy smart shopper, and my feet are size 9 women, which translates to size 7 men, I can buy my boots in the young men's department so they're a lot cheaper. (If I wait until after Christmas/January they also go on wicked sale.) So I'm also saving money because I'm not blowing wads of cash on fancy schmancy girly shoes that I'll only wear once because I fell off the high heels and broke my ankle. Which means I can buy books with the money I save.

So there you have it, my sure fire way of how wearing work boots can help make you a better writer. (And get you a J.Lo rear end as a bonus.)

Tell me -- Do you own a pair of work boots?

30 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

No boots, but after mowing the lawn, I don't feel like moving from my chair no matter what is on my feet.
And I did remove over sixty images from my home page, so hopefully you can get to it now without your computer crashing!

R. Mac Wheeler said...

*big smile* to you.

Would my hikers fit the bill?

Sarah Ahiers said...

This post was HILARIOUS!
And no, no work boots for me. But also no high heels. If i can get away with it (depending on what i'm doing) i'll just go barefoot

Linda G. said...

No work boots for me, but after reading this I'm seriously considering getting some. Funny! :)

Anne Gallagher said...

Alex -- I am on my way to you right now. 60 images! Wow.

Mac -- Only if they weigh more than a pound each. that's what works the butt muscles.

Sarah -- Yeah, barefoot. the only way to be. Unless you have to kick something then I recommend steel toes.

Linda -- You really should. No more pilates!

Bossy Betty said...

My boots are like SUV's for my feet. I can do anything when I wear them. I loved this post!

Anne Gallagher said...

Betty -- Great analogy. Thanks!

Johanna Garth said...

You had me at J. Lo butt! I'm ready to trade in this morning's impractical platform boots for a pair of work ones! Erm... on consideration it was the writing piece that probably should have sold me on the boots, not the vanity piece *blushes*

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Oh, what a fun post! Yes, I do have work boots, but my feet feel much more at home in a pair of slippers. Hmmm, that could be why I don't have a J. Lo butt. (I'm sure it has nothing to do with pumpkin pie...)

lbdiamond said...

Ha! I sure do like the picture, LOL!

Anne Gallagher said...

Johanna -- No worries.

Susan -- Slippers, sad to say are no good for kicking a lawn mower when it doesn't work. And if you wear work boots, you can eat all the pumpkin pie you want.

Lydia -- Actually, I do too.

Liza said...

I'm just laughing. I can tell you are from New England by that "wicked!" I do own a pair of work boots, but not a good pair like yours. I use mine when we are raking five million tarps full of leaves each fall. Other than that, they stay in the closet.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

No, but after reading this post, I might just have to get me some. :D

Anne Gallagher said...

Liza -- I put wicked in there just for you!! I've been wearing the boots for the last 4 months. I don't think I can wear sneakers anymore.

Stina -- You never know when you might need a pair.

Nicki Elson said...

Sold! I've never ever heard workboots described in such an enticing way before. I can always count on you for a unique perspective. I hope you've been well.

Stephanie Thornton said...

I love this! It sounds like I need to get myself a pair of work boots.

Wait, would I still have to go to work if I had them? I'd like the pair that means someone else will take care of the day job for me. ;)

Lydia Kang said...

I have Wellies, which I use to do my mucky gardening.

Talli Roland said...

Haha! Love this, Anne. I'm thinking I should wear work boots so I can't get up from my desk and wander around!

Karen Jones Gowen said...

No boots. I garden in flip flops :)

J.B. Chicoine said...

I do have work boots, but I can't remember where they are! Maybe in a box, or back in MI...house slippers seem to be my usual foot apparel these days :(. How boring is that!

Em-Musing said...

OK, don't laugh. I had a pair of space-looking quilted white boots that I wore while I worked in my garden. It was summer, I didn't want heavy boots, and needed to put them on and take off easily. These worked just fine till I caught a glimpse of me in the reflection of a window and realized I looked like a space cadet.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I kinda look like that right now. Sans beard of course.

And I wish my feet were that small. I wear a men's 10. Not because my feet are long, but because they are wide, and women's shoes are too narrow. Yes, I have duck feet.

Carol Kilgore said...

I don't even think Live In Handyman owns a pair of work boots. Maybe I need to go looking for some.

Stephen Tremp said...

I haven't worn work boots in 20 years. Reminds me of work. Ugh!

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I was laughing and nodding along with you the entire time. I wear workboots to do work outside and also the heavy sock, even in the summer. I don't wear them at my writing desk though.

Al said...

Several pairs!

And I am even hairier than the piccie!

Jennifer Shirk said...

Oh my gosh, that's great! I'm adding work boots to my Christmas list!!!

I'm a size 9 too--maybe I can borrow them? LOL

DL Hammons said...

Kudo's! I was skeptical when I read the title of your post, but you totally made it work! :)

Glad to be back!!

Hannah Kincade said...

My best ideas come when I'm doing things like cleaning or working out. I think it's the increase in oxygen or something. Either way, I like it. ;)

Old Kitty said...

Awwww but don't all writers get a J-Lo rear from all that sitting down already!??! LOL! Take care
x